Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA)

Washington, DC - Congress is considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.


‘Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,’ said California Senator Barbara Boxer. ‘We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.’


In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S. employer of Persons of Inability.


Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement warehouse stores (65%). At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).


Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million ‘middle man’ positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.


Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, ‘Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?’


‘As a Non-abled person, I can’t be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,’ said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Michigan, due to her inability to remember “Righty-Tighty, Lefty-Loosey.” ‘This new law should be real good for people like me,’ Gertz added. With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.


Said Senator Dick Durban (D-IL): ‘As a Senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so.

 

Yes, the serially incompetent are probably the next special interest group to be taken under the wing of the radical left, as personified by certain members who seem to think that anyone with a psychopathology needs only to find another similarly sick puppy, call themselves a 'group' and then sit back and wait for society to kick down the legal doors which prevent them from indulging in their sick behaviours or else make public money available to them so that they can rent a church basement and slobber together.

And where can you most easily identify the serially incompetent? That's right... behind the wheel!! Think about it. There are literally millions of the manque talents out there, weak-minded milquetoast morons who don't have the skills or the drive necessary to carve anything out for themselves. They are almost completely powerless in their day to day lives; they are scoffed at by waiters, ignored by women, laughed at by bank managers and ridiculed by the mass media. Where's the one place they are in control, the one place where they can affect their surroundings, the only place where they can make people bend to their will? While they're driving.

The asshat who drives at 15 mph below the limit on a main city thoroughfare, only to hammer the gas when you try to get by him? The moron who uses his car to prove his point that he's technically in the right even though anyone who drives like him in a city of 10 million is risking a beating? The noidy little prick who nearly runs you off the road making a lane change without looking, and then stares straight ahead when you finally catch him and pull up beside him to see what he looks like?

These are the ones who Boxer wants to protect.

 

You are suffering from "They are crappy drivers" syndrome, there is money in the bailout porkulus package for you...

Many suffer from the "shitty family syndrome", they came from shitty families, there is money in there for them too...

I'm currently getting stimulated in the category of "too old and lazy to work" syndrome... it pays pretty well really... I go on interviews but I make it as plain as possible that I'm too old and lazy to work, so Obama keeps stimulating me... probably if they quit stimulating me I would have to get a job, it's a real catch22 situation but what's a guy to do? When people ask me what line of work I'm in I tell them I'm a tax writeoff... it gets me some inquisitive glances but it's definitely not a chick getter of a line.. they always head for the other end of the bar..

 

In the next 20 years a large majority of people will most likely depend on government for a large amount of things. With this dependency comes a massive amount of power for political leaders. No doubt the most power hungry individuals will rise to the top and hints of an authoritative state will begin to emerge.

Anyone who can't see it is merely blind from idealism. When you have 10 people who completely depend on you you have complete power over those people. That is a true statement.

The amazing thing is that even if people knew the ultimate result which is serving an outright dictatorship they would still be satisfied with the short term treats.

Go read Aniaml Farm if you think I am blowing this out of proportion. It may not be 20 years but this end result has definitely been in the making for quite some time.