No, that would be your mother's womb. This had more to do with an extremely corrupt mayor and city council than derivatives or anything else. Those were just tools that were inappropriately used.
Uh, yes, you started the classy and creative part. I guess you never picked up proper punctuation in all your travels? I love the statistics on teen pregnancy...oh, wait, there weren't any. Break it down by race and you'll find all the mythical white trailer trash are mostly just that...mythical.
The fact that he was incompetent doesn't bother me as much as the fact that he was corrupt. Living high off tax payer dollars recycled through investment banking fee kickbacks. This makes Alabama the moral equivalent of a Third World tinpot country where this kind of activity is standard.