I think you show you've got many things going for you - integrity and honesty being one of the most important aspects, not just to others, but most crucially to yourself. Regarding your points, sharing them with others might help you who knows: Have you thought about semi-automating this stuff? Trading is actually pretty boring, the GUIs are often expensive and error-prone as well. Starting some automation should improve execution and may help you focus more on the business side. What you want is stress-free and perfect execution (Operations) within reasonable market conditions, so you want to be fully prepared prior the every entry and exit. 1b. You want to minimize losses due to mistakes, because the correct action after a mistake is always to take the guaranteed loss/profit as soon as possible and cool down, if possible. Any deviation from your trading rules leads to breaking your rules, which shouldn't be within your trading plan, and thus need to be mitigated. It's about probabilities, not patterns repeating 100%. Look at any busy chart at any timeframe. Are any patterns repeating 100%? Usually, no. Gaps can mean many different things within a larger context and are not that different from long candles. Does your backtesting tell you reversing is profitable versus not reversing? You should be wary about what risks and costs you commit to. If earnings can do so much damage, aren't you over-leveraged? Black swans happen very rarely, but they will decimate you if not properly covered or diversified, and impossible to predict (by definition). The problem is one lacks such experiences, but doesn't mean one is impervious to such events. You might believe that reversing your position could even make such events profitable, but that too needs to be confirmed if really so. Winning by luck is actually a good sign. I've had those too, and it means you're allowing some winners at least. They should pay for your risks and costs. However, what you mean is that you broke your rules and "won", and it's good that you want to improve on that. It means you can put more efforts into improving your trading plan / rules, knowing that "winning by mistake" is not good enough for you.
True. Not sure if I imploded but I did go through a 40% drawdown before getting my act together. This idea that you need to blow accounts (for me blowing an account means losing 60% and more) to become successful is silly - preparation is key and until you have a method, don't do anything.
prepare for what? A trader is his own worst enemy ,the enemy is within , because the odds are against the trader .Most humans are not capable of being rational with the negative edge with emotions , stress , trend chop outs , psyche , losing sequences/ drawdowns and winning periods
Prepare by having a method, a back-tested method preferably. Yes, things stop working after a while so you need to re-calibrate your trading after some years but until then you just follow your method and make a profit cushion. Some humans are more rational than others, that's why they're called professionals. If you're constantly struggling with basic emotional problems then choose another profession. Drawdowns and losses are part of trading and most drawdowns you will handle without problems because you will become slightly more numb over the years. Extreme drawdowns, whether in length or size, are much harder to tolerate but it's part of trading.
You can debate these kind of things till the end of time, and there will still be no winner or loser, per se. -- But talking about it is very good nonetheless Trading is kind of a funny, or unique, endeavor. There's so many ever-changing variables in play. We're all essentially susceptible to wins and losses -- but the truly talented can stand the test of time, and enjoy and frolick in the fruits of their labor...have something to show for it. instead of just barely keeping their head above water.
In order to become a really good trader , you might want to deal with your internal demons, too. How do you do that before starting , in the preparations , since all this is unknown before the event?