A Socialist Tsunami

Discussion in 'Politics' started by AlpineTrout, Oct 17, 2008.

  1. Lucrum


  2. Yannis


    Keyword: Socialism!
    IMAO: In My World - Super Mario Socialism

    "Mario, Princess Peach, and Luigi headed out of Mushroom Castle to go to a picnic. “What a beautiful day!” Princess Peach exclaimed.

    “Itsa all right,” Mario said.

    “O-oh no!” Luigi stammered, pointing to the horizon, “Itsa Bowser!”

    Flying over them was Bowser in his Koopa Clown Copter. Behind him were numerous flying Koopas, each carrying a large bag. “Muh ha ha ha ha!” Bowser bellowed. “We have all of your gold coins, Mario the Plumber!”

    “What!?” Mario cried. “How did you breaka into my vault and geta my coins?”

    “We didn’t have to break in,” Bowser said. “It’s our right to them since my good friend, Obama Koopa, has been elected President of Mushroom Kingdom.”

    Little Obama Koopa popped up next to Bowser in the Clown Copter. “Hopenchange! Hopenchange!”

    “This isa crazy!” Mario yelled. “How dida he get elected? Doesn’t everyone knows he pals around with Bomb-Ombs? And what does he want with all my gold coins? He canta roll them up to snorta the coke.”

    “Obama Koopa has decided you have way too many gold coins for a plumber,” Bowser proclaimed, “so it’s time to redistribute your wealth. We’re going to give your coins to all the Goombas.”

    “Those lazy bastards canta have my coins!” Mario cried. “I worked hard for those coins backa in old the days when a 1-Up actually meant something. Obama Koopa, how can you justify taking from me like this?”

    “Hopenchange! Hopenchange!” Obama Koopa responded.

    “What does that even mean? You turtle bastard! I will stomp on your head and kicka your shell all over town!”

    Luigi tapped Mario on the shoulder. “You can’t say that. It’s racist.”

    “How isa that racist?”

    Luigi shrugged. “They said so in the media. I donta understand why, but they say itsa racist.”

    Mario slapped him. “Shut upa! You’re useless!” He turned back to shake his fist at Bowser as he flew off with all of Mario’s coins. “I’ll breaka your neck for this!”

    “At least I didn’t get kidnapped this time,” Princess Peach giggled.

    “Shut upa, you stupid bitch!” Mario screamed. “I could be so lucky! They took all my gold coins! This isa serious this time! This willa destroy my plumbing business! I worka so hard on this. You probably don’t even remember when I started out knocking crabs upside down and kicking them before I wasa super.”

    “Then again, you still never gotta your plumbing license,” Luigi said.

    “How many times have I saved the Mushroom Kingdom!” Mario yelled. “What do I needa plumbing license for! And things certainly weren’t any easier having to drag a useless turd like you around.” Mario slapped Luigi. “Now shut upa! You’re useless!”

    “I think you need to calm down,” Princess Peach said.

    “They’re is no calming down until I getta my coins!” Mario screamed. “I think I’ll call my cousin Guido this time. We’ll show them!”

    “But isn’t he in the mob?” Princess Peach asked.

    “He’s a legitimate business man!” Mario answered angrily. “Why do you have to label every Italian-Mushroom Kingdonian as a criminal, you filthy racist whore! I outta slap you around like my useless brother!”

    Princess Peach backed off and muttered under her breath, “Greasy wop midget.”

    “What did you say!” Mario screamed.

    Luigi jumped in between them. “Hey, Mario, we’re just all upset because of Bowser. Letsa not do anything stupid.”

    Mario slapped Luigi. “Shut upa! You’re useless!”

    Toad ran up to them carrying a gold coin. “Look what Obama Koopa gave me! Isn’t he the greatest?”

    “Thatsa my coin!” Mario yelled. He then picked up a trash can and started slamming it into Toad.

    “Please stop!” Toad pleaded. “I don’t even know what I did!”

    Mario kept slamming the trash can into him. “I’m sorry, but your mercy is in another Italian plumber!”

    Finally, Mario stopped and Toad lay still on the ground. “I thinka you killed him!” Luigi cried.

    Mario spat on the ground. “I know I did.”

    “What did you do, Mario!” Princess Peach yelled. “What did you do!”

    “I gotta one of my coins back, that’s what I did!” He took the coin off of Toad. “Now we get the rest. I’m not going to let happen to my plumbing business what happened to my construction business. You remember that, Luigi?”

    “You got shut down by the EPA.”

    “When a gorilla throws a barrel at me,” Mario said, “I smash the barrel with a hammer; that’s my policy. I don’t got time to first fill out an environmental impact form. Would the government rather me jump over the barrel and let them run into the flaming oil can? Then they become one of those fire creatures; is that good for the environment? Plus, they move around erratically; I can’t jump over those! Do those bureaucrats know anything about business? Ita makes me so mad!” He slapped Luigi.

    Luigi clutched his face. “What was that for?”

    “For doing nothing, like usual! Now let’s getta those coins back! Get me my weapons!”

    “But they took away your weapons,” Luigi said. “Now that Obama Koopa is in charge, civilian possession of bullet bills is illegal.”

    “What!” Mario turned to Princess Peach. “You’re the princess; you do something!”

    Princess Peach shrugged. “I’m really more of a figurehead. See, we have a bicameral legislature that meets–”

    “I donta know what that means!” Mario screamed. “Shutta your mouth. You’re as useless as my brother!” He turned to Luigi. “Just get me my 150cc kart and we’ll go after them.”

    “We can’t drive the kart anymore,” Luigi said. “It’s illegal unless you convert it to a hybrid.”

    “Thatsa it!” Mario ran into Mushroom Castle and started rooting around in a trunk. “Here it is!” He pulled out a shotgun.

    “You can’t have a gun in a platformer!” Luigi exclaimed.

    Mario slapped him. “Shut upa! You’re useless! I’m switching genres! Now this game is survival horror, and I’m getting my coins back and killing anyone who gets in my way. You know as they say: Guns don’t kill people; people with mustaches kill people.” Mario chambered a round. “Letsa go!”

    Coming November 4th to Nintendo Wii."

    :) :) :)
  3. TGregg


    Not that McCain will be much better. Voters favor more government and more socialism in overwhelming numbers. The question becomes, how do you position yourself for easily forseeable events? It seems obvious that taxes, inflation, unemployment and government spending and debt are all set to soar.

    One concept might be that urban areas will be hit the hardest. The usual city killers of higher crime, more taxes, lower property values and bad schools will have more teeth. Once they reach critical mass, people that can will leave the city, which will cause an escalation of the problems that made them leave. Which causes more to leave until the city is the new Detroit.
  4. Yannis


    I agree with the spirit of what you said but my take is somewhat different - a lot more is possible here.

    Americans want more Government involvement and protection, not exclusively easy handouts by the Welfare Dept or leftist proxies like Acorn.

    What a center-right independently-minded Government could do is replace the bulk of our handout system with temporary work programs run by corporations that try to make them break even or better and also get favorable tax treatment for their efforts. And on and on, this philosophy (I'll help you for a while, but you'll have to work for it) can cascade down to many healthy social goals like home ownership, starting your own mini-business, etc etc.

    We also need better and more effective regulation... look at the global market mess these days. Imo, the central responsibility of our Government should not be the provision of services (almost all of them would be more efficient and effective if privatized) but being a strong and fair referee. Leave the means and rewards of production (at all levels) in the hands of individuals, just be present in the marketplace to police its normal functioning, that's all.

    A last thing we need from the Government is more respect for the fact that money is a lot more productive if left in the private business domain, and it loses a lot of its potential when it gets sucked up in the Governmenttal bureaucracies. Minimize taxes, while keeping a watchful eye through good regulation management, and we'll all have more to share in the long run.

  5. Your always reliable Tgregg. Presumably, you have already set up a satellite/shortwave ammo store, payable in Krugerrands , jewelery and cocaine.
    You know, i always considered, that america was impenetrable, with the high gun ownership, the fierce nationalism.........but it's evident, that you assholes need to sort this shit out, preferably, without killing everyone on the planet.
  6. The IBD article is a typical 'cart before the horse' argument. The turn toward socialism wouldn't have occurred in the absence of a systemic failure. An "objective individual" would find the root cause in "capitalism as we know it". Objectivity will be not only required to assess the landscape correctly, but also to find a best case approach to solving the problems that we presently face. Rigid partisanship will no doubt impede this process along the way.

    In the end, just as markets tend to overcorrect, an overcorrection toward the left end of the political spectrum may occur.

  7. Why? Because (using conservative policies even) they already are?
  8. America, unfortunately has been involved with socialism for awhile now. Two examples:

    The Social Security scam & Government Schools. And, it looks like you'll soon be opening your wallet for more.
  9. Stupid Thomas Jefferson.
    #10     Oct 17, 2008