2012 Democratic National Convention Schedule -- First Day

Discussion in 'Politics & Religion' started by Maverick74, Aug 23, 2012.

  1. Maverick74


    Someone sent this to me and I had to post it. Absolutely hilarious.

    2012 Democratic National Convention Schedule -- First Day

    (convention to be held in Charlotte, N.C., Sept. 3-6, 2012)

    4:00 PM - Opening Flag Burning Ceremony - sponsored by CNN

    4:05 PM - Singing of "God Damn America " led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright

    4:10 PM - Pledge of Allegiance to Obama.

    4:15 PM - Ceremonial 'I hate America' led by Michelle Obama.

    4:30 PM - Tips on "How to keep your man trustworthy & true to you while you travel the world" - Hillary Clinton

    4:45 PM - Al Sharpton / Jesse Jackson seminar "How to Have a Successful and Lucrative Career Without Having a Job."

    5:00 PM - "Great Vacations I've Taken on the Taxpayer's Dime Travel Log" - Michelle Obama.

    5:30 PM – Anthony Weiner Speaks on "Family Values" via satellite

    5:45 PM - Tribute to All 57 States - Nancy Pelosi

    6:00 PM - Sen. Harry Reid - 90-minute speech expressing the Democrat's appreciation of the Occupy Wall Street movement, and George Soros for sparing no expense, for all that they have accomplished to unify the country, improve employment and to boost the economy.

    8:30 PM - "Airing of Grievances" by the Clintons

    9:00 PM - "Bias in Media - How We Can Make It Work for You" Tutorial - sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times

    9:15 PM - Tribute Film to Brave Freedom Fighters incarcerated at GITMO - by Michael Moore

    9:45 PM - Personal Finance Seminar - by Charlie Rangel

    10:00 PM - Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners and Bible readers.

    10:30 PM - Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ & Afghanistan

    11:00 PM - Obama Energy Plan Symposium / Tire Gauge Demonstration / You too can get rich with Green Investment bankruptcies

    11:15 PM - "Free Gov. Blagovich" rally

    11:30 PM - Obama Accepts Oscar, Tony, Nobel Prize, Olympics Gold Medal, and Latin Grammy Awards

    11:45 PM - "Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish" - Obama Presiding

    12:00 AM - Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher and Chris "He sends a thrill up my leg" Matthews

    12:01 AM - Obama Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior

    12:05 AM - Celestial Choirs Sing

    1:00 AM - Joe Biden Delivers V.P. Nomination Acceptance Speech - "No More Chains For Y'All"
  2. you should have posted it in chit-chat.
  3. Brass


    I'm sure that's what he was aiming for, but Chit Chat has standards.
  4. Maverick74


    Even you have to admit this was pretty funny. Come on man, show me you have a sense of humor. :D
  5. You forgot the part where they appeal to gays. I heard they were going to bring Barney Frank out in nothing but a pair of speedos and have him dance around to "My Milkshake Brings all the Boys to the Yard". This is the Dems vision of America.
  6. Brass


    It wasn't bad. I can only imagine what the latest RNC schedule looks like. Here's one from a while back:

    Republican Convention Schedule

    Minneapolis, MN

    4:00 PM - Opening Prayers and Massages Administered by Rev. Ted Haggard
    4:05 PM - Presentation of Confederate Colors
    4:10 PM - Pledge of Allegiance to 9/11
    4:15 PM - Invocation of John McCain's POW Experience
    4:30 PM - George W. Bush Speech on Legacy of Peace and Prosperity, Canceled
    4:45 PM - Dick Cheney Instructional Seminar on Waterboarding, Canceled
    5:00 PM - Karl Rove Speech on Government Accountability, Canceled
    5:15 PM - Tribute to the U.S. Constitution, Canceled
    5:30 PM - VP Beauty Contest and Swimsuit Competition, featuring Sarah Palin, Condoleezza Rice, and Rudy Giuliani
    5:45 PM - Tribute Film to John McCain's Houses
    6:00 PM - Free Jack Abramoff Pep Rally
    6:15 PM - Free Tom DeLay Pep Rally
    6:30 PM - Free Ted Stevens Pep Rally
    6:45 PM - Invocation of John McCain's POW Experience
    7:00 PM - VP Briefing Session: The Busy Mom's Guide to Battling Islamic Terrorism
    7:15 PM - Larry Craig "Family Values" Lecture and Toe-Tapping Exhibition
    7:30 PM - Restroom Break
    7:45 PM - Invitation to "Strip Down and Get Relaxed," delivered by Mark Foley via Instant Message
    8:00 PM - Lecture on the Effectiveness of Abstinence-Only Education – Sarah Palin
    8:15 PM - Accidental Reference to "Obama bin Laden"
    8:30 PM - Tribute to a "Nation of Whiners" – McCain Economic Adviser Phil Gramm
    8:45 PM - Invocation of John McCain's POW Experience
    9:00 PM - Group Sing–Along: "Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb Iran"
    9:15 PM - Mitt Romney Endorsement of Jockey Underwear
    9:30 PM - Joke Interlude: McCain Tells the One About the Lawyer and the Catfish
    9:45 PM - Rallying Call to "Drill Here, Drill Now," Followed by Unveiling of an Oil Rig on Speaker's Platform
    10:00 PM - Halliburton Seminar: Profiting from the Next 100 Years of War in Iraq
    10:15 PM - Parade of Alaskan Delegates Across Glitter-Encrusted Bridge to Nowhere, led by Sarah Palin
    10:30 PM - Ceremonial Shattering of Glass Ceiling with Shotgun Blast Fired by Palin
    11:00 PM - John McCain Acceptance Speech and Plea to Delegates to "Get Off My Lawns"
    11:30 PM - Closing Invocation of John McCain's POW Experience
    12:00 AM - Rapture and Farewell to Bush and Cheney
  7. pspr


    LOL. I'll have to email that schedule to my list of conservative (and liberal) friends.

    BTW, the MSM has plans to cut the GOP Convention coverage short. Surprise, surprise.
  8. Funny. This ain't so funny. Take 10 minutes and watch the self loathing leftists who schooled and influenced Obama.
    <iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ZZK2PPW5tAs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
  9. Brass


    Word has it that a lot of hot air may cut the convention short, culminating in a veritable hurricane. The speakers will have only themselves to blame.
  10. Lucrum


    Funny, it'd be even funnier if there wasn't an element of truth to it though.
    #10     Aug 23, 2012