Someone sent this to me and I had to post it. Absolutely hilarious. 2012 Democratic National Convention Schedule -- First Day (convention to be held in Charlotte, N.C., Sept. 3-6, 2012) 4:00 PM - Opening Flag Burning Ceremony - sponsored by CNN 4:05 PM - Singing of "God Damn America " led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright 4:10 PM - Pledge of Allegiance to Obama. 4:15 PM - Ceremonial 'I hate America' led by Michelle Obama. 4:30 PM - Tips on "How to keep your man trustworthy & true to you while you travel the world" - Hillary Clinton 4:45 PM - Al Sharpton / Jesse Jackson seminar "How to Have a Successful and Lucrative Career Without Having a Job." 5:00 PM - "Great Vacations I've Taken on the Taxpayer's Dime Travel Log" - Michelle Obama. 5:30 PM â Anthony Weiner Speaks on "Family Values" via satellite 5:45 PM - Tribute to All 57 States - Nancy Pelosi 6:00 PM - Sen. Harry Reid - 90-minute speech expressing the Democrat's appreciation of the Occupy Wall Street movement, and George Soros for sparing no expense, for all that they have accomplished to unify the country, improve employment and to boost the economy. 8:30 PM - "Airing of Grievances" by the Clintons 9:00 PM - "Bias in Media - How We Can Make It Work for You" Tutorial - sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times 9:15 PM - Tribute Film to Brave Freedom Fighters incarcerated at GITMO - by Michael Moore 9:45 PM - Personal Finance Seminar - by Charlie Rangel 10:00 PM - Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners and Bible readers. 10:30 PM - Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ & Afghanistan 11:00 PM - Obama Energy Plan Symposium / Tire Gauge Demonstration / You too can get rich with Green Investment bankruptcies 11:15 PM - "Free Gov. Blagovich" rally 11:30 PM - Obama Accepts Oscar, Tony, Nobel Prize, Olympics Gold Medal, and Latin Grammy Awards 11:45 PM - "Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish" - Obama Presiding 12:00 AM - Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher and Chris "He sends a thrill up my leg" Matthews 12:01 AM - Obama Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior 12:05 AM - Celestial Choirs Sing 1:00 AM - Joe Biden Delivers V.P. Nomination Acceptance Speech - "No More Chains For Y'All"