Of course I am - you already knew that! And "that" was a listing of just some of the greeks (OK, plus their sensitivities and other things.) Different order greeks, too... the point being to have a fun way of scaring the hell out of people like you. Mission accomplished. But here's your BIG CLUE: the point of spreads is that they're (roughly speaking) flat the greeks. The only thing you have to worry about is direction: does the price go to/through your spread or not? If you can predict direction with your polycyclic psychedelic stable diffusion recursive animation Kandinsky chart crap, spreads will put money in your pocket. If you can't, well, you're no worse off than you were... except for a measure of safety, since spreads are risk-defined. Better than your damn futures falling through the floor, anyway...
Actually, that was the first thing I did. No luck. Found some guy asking about "carpet bombing dividends" (by which he meant buying a stock just before ex-div and selling it right after... ho-hum, another brilliant discovery...), but nothing else. If you have a pointer or can explain, I'd appreciate it.
You are too intelligent and exhausting to reply to at this time. I need to save that energy to be able to sleep. (How's that for irony!)
I'm not quite as convinced of my brilliance as you are (or as I used to be); options, and the folks who truly understand them, have given me a measure of humility. Well, a small one, anyway. But I do understand being too exhausted to sleep - not a state to wish on anyone. Sleep well, my friend.
OK, I believe you. https://www.benzinga.com/10/10/535229/spx-“carpet-bomb”-due-to-vix-settlement Dozens of references, including a WSJ article. There is no off button.