Top 10 Candidates To Replace Chris Cuomo

Discussion in 'Politics' started by TreeFrogTrader, Dec 10, 2021.

  1. Heh, you gotta admit. There is a rational basis for choosing some of these people.

    Babylon Bee nails it again. Truthy-ness on full display.
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    So, um, some people did something, and now CNN's Primetime slot is empty! Oh no! While we are extremely sad to see the brilliant and legendary Chris Cuomo go, there are a ton of great candidates out there who would do a great job filling his shoes! Here are the top ten possible replacements for Chris Cuomo:

    #1) Jussie Smollett: He has vast experience using fake news to gin up racial hatred. A perfect fit!

    #2) Ghislaine Maxwell: For her skill in protecting serial sex predators.

    #3) Luigi from Super Mario Brothers: The Primetime slot has been traditionally filled by a proud Italian-American. It should be given to another Italian.

    #4) A bowl of fettuccine: Another Italian classic, albeit with a slightly higher I.Q.

    #5) Brian Stelter: Because it's high time this position was filled by a woman.

    #6) One of those recorded messages from the airport loudspeaker that tells everyone where to find the bathrooms and newsstands: Would still provide more useful information than your average CNN host.

    #7) Kamala Harris: Since she's not currently doing anything.

    #8) A Pfizer sales rep: Might as well hear your typical CNN news straight from the source for once!

    #9) A female CNN intern: She could spend each night telling lurid stories of all the unspeakably gross stuff that happens at CNN every day! Guaranteed ratings boost!

    10) Tucker Carlson: The universe would implode.

    We can't wait to see what CNN has in store for us!
     
  2. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading