A banker was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his daughter's college education. As the policeman, who also had a daughter in college, was leading him away in handcuffs, he asked the banker, "I have just one question for you. Where were you going to get the rest of the money?"
If a student is accomplished enough to get into schools such as Chaote, Phillips Exeter, St. Pauls, St. Albans, etc. (Schools, except for Choate, not on the list) their parents will be able to afford the cost. The large endowments of these long established college preparatory schools means that anyone bright enough to be admitted will be eligible for needs based tuition adjustment. It's still a bit expensive for most, but entirely affordable. The difficulty is not cost but qualifying for admission.
When my friends were getting in you did not have to be all that accomplished. If you can pay and you know a few people, you can go. I also had a few friends who did the "repeat the junior year" deal and then got into an Ivy. its not all brainpower... its knowing the people or how to work the system. Money helps. I
My wife went to one of the schools on the list and I have a few friends who went to similar schools and I now have some friends who send their kids to one of the schools on that list (as commuter students). There are some scholarship kids (she was one of them) but it's mostly for cultural or athletic reasons. The vast majority of the students have parents who can afford the school and don't have time to raise their kids themselves. Every one of my friends who went to such boarding schools say they will not send their kids to a boarding school.
My two sons attended The Haverford School for several years. I thought I was paying to give them an edge over the public school kids. It was $60,000 per year for both of them in elementary school all in---then the school would expect additional donations,etc--- it was a constant onslaught of their begging for money. I did end up meeting some cool folks-- that ended up helping me a little in the business--- However, I decided to take a close look at the alumni of the school-- i was shocked to say the least! 80% were hippie slacker types with very few actually successful folks. I pulled my sons out of the school, they are in public now and couldn't be happier. High end private schools are a waste of money and energy-- unless your kid isnt motivated, has a trust fund and you have mad money to waste--then it may be worthwhile. surf
Because a school is expensive does not necessarily mean it will be worth the expense to send your child there for an education. That will depend on the child and the school. Some schools are very expensive, and also offer a good education, but admit students more on the ability to pay than on academic achievement. Other schools are expensive but admit students more on the basis of academic achievement than the ability to pay. These schools have large endowments -- Exeter over 1 billion, Choate over 1/3 billion, etc-- and offer very substantial needs based tuition assistance. These are the schools that are worthwhile, assuming your child can qualify. These same schools will also occasionally admit students that are less qualified if they are a legacy child or if their parents are very wealthy and might make a nice contribution to the endowment fund. But those are exceptions, not the rule. The kinds of educational opportunities offered by the best of the boarding schools far exceeds what is available in public education, or run of the mill private schools.