...associated with some event. Wrote this for more general matters, but surely applies to trading as well to dissociate from recent loss and get control over your emotions back. "For example, someone on a highway swore on you in a very ugly way. You feel bad about it. You feel humiliated, offended, you feel injustice. You "playback" that scene three, four times each time feeling worse and worse about it. You may even dream about murdering that person in a very ugly way too. Now, STOP! It won't make you feel better. Quite the opposite. You suffer without any logical reason, because most likely you won't meet that person ever again, that scene most likely will never repeat in your life exactly as it did, so why bother? Instead, try to picture it in the form of comics or funny animation (say imagine every person participating in that scene and every person around as Shrek heroes). More colors! Make it as bright and colorful as you can! Make everyone in your new scene look as funny as you can! Now add some stupid funny music, something from old cartoons about Tom & Jerry or whatever... Playback this, reworked scene in your mind a few times. Faster or slower. Make it black and white like very old cartoons, then colorful again. Change heroes, but keep them funny and stupid. Do it until you start to laugh yourself about how foolish it all looks."
Sorry to point out to you: the solution offered here is a "bandaid fix". Same stuff will happen when someone slams the door just in front of them, or someone pass them in a queue, etc...
Right, the approach I described is OK when anger doesn't make logical sense, only drains energy out of us and may even lead to uncontrolled consequences (we lose more than we win if we apply good right cross in the nose of someone passing us in a queue instead of anger management ).
As you are a psychology-graduate coach, I felt that you have a duty when people make the effort to consult with you, to really sort out the person's real issues. This is why I took the step to encourage you to get to the root of the problem. Of course, as a psy graduate, you know that if necessary it is in your duty of care, to refer this person to a more experience specialists if the root cause of the problem is not sorted: your coaching is capital in preventing escalation of psychological issues people demonstrate.
Agree, in cases when there is a deeper layer of the problem, it better be revealed and sorted out. The common situation, however is that many people don't have any deep issue with anger (as an example). They just model others' behavior in early age and continue to do it later. Moreover, some of our instincts, which helped us a lot when we lived somewhere under the trees in savanna, are not constructive anymore in modern society. So what is needed is simply a set of educative techniques to control those "animal instincts" and use them only when appropriate. Victor Sperandeo, a speculator who devoted much time to studying psychology (many here know I am a big fan of him) perfectly described it in corresponding chapters of his "Trader Vic".
What I have come to notice is these seemingly anodin behaviours can be the iceberg that hides a huge monster beneath. This is why I have come to realize that psy coaches job is far more important than one could realise: they are the people who can the earliest detect any non-anodin "iceberg".
Yes, of course, you are right (again, I must say ). Whenever it looks like there is a deeper layer of beliefs, work must be done. But often there is nothing, but simple absence of proper social skill.