To do this. I just don't get it. To jump off of a bridge in front of your daughter. It's infuriating as well as sad. http://www.hudsonstarobserver.com/event/article/id/49341/
I'm no expert on suicide but it's easy to see that it's a very self-absorbed thing. I had a friend that talked about offing himself with a pistol. He agreed with me that it would be a very self-absorbed thing to do since he was going to leave a gruesome messy dead body for his landlady to find... Suicidal people are oppressed by demons. That is my conclusion. I heard an interview with a guy that had jumped off a bridge and survived. He said that the instant his hand left the rail, the instant it was too late to reverse the decision, that he was filled with a strong desire to live! I'd say the demons just pulled back and let his real inner person come to the forefront and they were laughing at him. I went to a New Agey thing once to get a book signed by the author. The guy was a nasty little son of a bitch, that was surprising to me, I'd thought he was in a helping profession and would be a compassionate person. As I was leaving, walking to my car I was suddenly overtaken with an overwhelming desire to die. I had no reason to die, I was walking across the parking lot and thinking about how I'm happily married, love my job, I'm heading for my Camaro which is a blast to drive... and this oppressive thing just stayed with me.. I remember starting to drive away and thinking that I hoped this thing would wear off, and it did.
Suicide is more often than not irrational. I would argue that terminal patients have just cause, but that's another story altogether. Suicide is rarely spontaneous if by spontaneous you mean the thought had never occurred prior to the moment a person decides to kill themselves. I know several people who have comitted suicide, probably 20 or so. I have spoken with hundreds who have made the attempt, from feeble to serious. All part of dealing with addictive personalities. I myself have had a gun at my head, many moons ago. Barrel on the temple, slack out of the trigger. Drink in one hand, gun in the other. Not a good combo. I can tell you from my own experience, and from many conversations, suicide is usaully a long time in the works and eventually the person believes that the pain in which they are suffering will never end. In simpler terms, they lose all hope of ever seeing a brighter day. It's a darkness of which I would wish on no man. There are of course other types of suicide. Those that are not wanting to face the consequences of some horrible action they just took. Some crazy thought of punishing someone that you feel has done you wrong. The old, I'm mad at you so I'll kill myself routine. In the end, it's a very permanent solution to a temporary problem. So you may be asking, why didn't the good old Captain off himself? At the moment it was happening I had a thought. Being a atheist at the time my intial thought was fuck it, what's done is done. I had another thought right after that. What if? That question saved my life. Things can and do change. People can and do change.
when someone attempts suicide they are obviously not rational. i had a friend who's cousin took his own life right before christmas a few years back. my buddy kept saying how selfish it was and especially so due to the fact that it was around christmas. when someone is in such an irrational state of mind, timing is not at the forefront of their mind. suicide is very sad and the degree of depression must be so great amd so prolonged that their o ly alternative is to leave the world. i remember having a few drinks back in the day with a friend that kept telling me he never felt like he fit in anywhere, he never felt as if he belonged and at times felt an overwhelming sense of rejection. this really bothered me and all i could do was let him know how special and gifted he was. i havent seen him an almost two years and i hope he is doing well. last time we spoke he had just been married.
I used to be one who would immediately call these people selfish. Not anymore. I keep telling myself i don't understand what would make someone do this. But maybe I'm just not supposed to. I have a friend who quietly attempted suicide when she was really messed up on drugs many years ago. She's straight now, but sometimes she'll say things under her breath like she wishes she would've succeeded. I used to really get after her and get really pissed of when she said shit like that. But today she said "it's not selfish, is a sickness". I believe her now. Conversely, a friend of a friend shot himself a few years back after his fifth dwi. That one i understand. He was hungover, depressed, felt like a failure, and left his kid without a dad. That was pure selfish stupidity. I knew the guy, so i know he was stronger than that and gave into weakness on a really bad day. But today caught me off guard. I didn't know the person, but it happened just down the road. And the fact that she did it right in front of her daughter blows my previous beliefs about suicide out of the water. I'm not personally hurting from this one. Just trying to understand. And you're responses are very insightful, and much appreciated.