First off, im sick and tired of seeing young kids named Cody, Parker, Aiden, Mason, jayden ,or jackson. WTF is going on with these half a fag names. Have some balls and toughen up. Stop letting your wives dictate what you name your boy. For gods sakes, the poor kid has to live with this name forever. Give him a real name like mike, joe, greg, tom, frank, vinny, pete, alex, rich.. These trendy names are just plain GAY. Another thing, if i am supposed to stop by someones house and they tell me dont come at 3 because thats when Cody the 5 year old takes a nap, im gonna flip..if cody wakes up, tough shit, thats life and he needs to learn to go back to sleep. After all, thats life. Prepare him for the real friggin world. Another thing, if i hear a guy say he " needs to ask the boss" before he makes a decision, im gonna lose it. The man is the friggin boss, stop looking like a wimp with no balls and make a decision on your own. I understand marriage is 2 people but dont look like a fairy and let your wife boss you around; thats not a marriage. Hey, how bout this, " saturday morning wont work for me, its family bike ride day".. What !!! What the hell is that all about. These new jacks are fairies and need to toughen up. One more thing, have your sons play real sports like football or wrestling, stop getting him involved with sissy sports. Get with the program, this country needs real men, not wimps with girly boy names.
Lose the Pete. That's my name and Iéd like to forget the times people have called me Dick because they couldn't exactly remember my name.
I know right....Toughen up! So many wusses around these days. This one guy can't even PEE correctly! Can you believe it? How hard is it to pee? http://www.elitetrader.com/vb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=265209&perpage=6&pagenumber=1 So many pussies out there...
May as well break out an old favorite: GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION 1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet. 2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus,! you're fit to be framed, you're so gay. 3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and undeniably a fag. 4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases. 5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black, and full aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim "and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your! mouth, you've had a man there, too. 6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NHL, college ball, PGA and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious. 7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or play with his honey in the passenger seat. 8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they Flame out too
My best friend got married and I called him up one day. "Hey Gerry, let's go grab a beer over at <i>someplace</i>!" "Sounds great! I'm there. Uhm. . . just a second." He puts the phone down. 2 minutes later. . . "Uhm. I can't go." Poor guy, Never saw him again.
Red Green Yellow Blue Purple Black White Guess we're all gay, lol. But if you know the name of every freakin' player in the PGA, I have bad news for you.
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