Whenever I hold large leveraged positions (in cash market) overnight, I invariably wake up suddenly around 3 to 3:30am eastern time with fear, my heart pounding in my chest like I've just seen a bear coming after me. Then I grab my phone and stare at futures, currencies, etc, flipping back and forth between them. This often goes on for an hour, 2 or more. If I hold no positions then sleep is much, much better. Large unrealized gains that slipped away in a matter of minutes (due to complacency) also have caused me a lot of anguish, just last week missed out on 2 separate $30K and $70K profit opportunities, worse yet suffered some losses due to inaction. How did you master the mental game? I feel exhausted, sleep deprived, a ticking wreck inside, while projecting a chill dude facade on the outside. At the same time I've never felt more certain that trading is my passion. I feel consumed by it day and night. Any suggestions on fear management?
I think risking only 1-X% of your portfolio on any given trade is a good start. Sounds like you have big positions, and risk too much of your portfolio as a result. If I know that the most I am going to lose is $10K of a $1M account, I am happy with knowing that. The problem comes when you lose too many times in a row.
Trade smaller...you need to understand your edge...if you don’t have an edge then it’s just gambling. I sleep well most nights
The only thing you can control in the stockmarket is the risk to your capital. Numerous articles have been written and studies conducted that they have come out with risk no more than 2% of your capital on each trade. Even with the best setups, you can still have losing trades. Fact is, you can lose 5 trades in a row! That would be a 10% drawdown in your capital. Still, that would keep you in the game and allow you to continue trading since, you still have 90% of your capital. By taking smaller risks, you can sleep better at night and think more clearly! Contrast that with risking say 25% on each trade. If you lose 3 out of 4 trades and make only a little on the 1 winning trade, you would be down 75% of your capital and your chances of coming back from it is slim to none! Mistakes can be corrected so, if you do not maintain a trading journal to review and correct your mistakes, you will never improve as a trader!
Trade smaller size on your sim-positions. You left equities because of PDT and you're "missing out" on $70K opportunities. Uh huh.
The answer to Deer-In-The-Headlights is to have a plan. It sounds very much like you don't. (Being simply 'in the market' is not having a plan. And entry+2xExits is a plan.) 1) Placing brackets -- a SL on one side, and a TP on the other -- will do you SO well. 2) Watch the proportion on each market direction: Five 2% trades of things long SPX/correlated, is 10% ON ONE MARKET DIRECTION. 3) Once you've got a plan (and a plan based on reasonable proportions and expectations), then you sleep chanting what you'll do if X happens, or Y, or Z², or αⁿ..... YOUR STRESS IS WELL-DESERVED: Don't ignore it, reduce it: Plan the trade, trade the plan.
Go see a doctor and get a complete medical check up...make sure you tell them about your sleep problems and reasons for the sleep problem. Next, go see a psychiatrist or psycho therapist and talk about these problems and the reasons. In the mean time, do not hold overnight trading positions for awhile to re-energize. Actually, do not hold any overnight trading pos.itions until you see the above mentioned professionals because they're better suited to deal with your problems especially the other info you didn't reveal in your message posts. Don't put this off any further. Go see your doctor today, tomorrow or Monday. Last of all, you may not be suited for trading if you're physically suffering this much and it will eventually take its toll on your body and mind if you continue this way without professional help. P.S. Buy a decent blood pressure machine for individuals. You can get a good one that will download your readings to your computer for about $150 bucks. wrbtrader
Watch your caffein intake, even certain teas, this will compound your problem. Coffee with me definitely affect my moods, makes me jittery. I frequently fast off tea and coffee.