If the festive season finds you in need of inspiration try this simple system, which I am delighted to share with you with no strings attached in the spirit of Christmas: Each ornament on your Christmas tree is a financial instrument. This probably works best with commodity futures but up to the individual of course. The vertical distance from the the centre point of the trunk to each ornament represents the expected direction and strength of price movement over the next 12 months (i.e. until the next time the xmas tree is decorated). Note an ornament/instrument that’s fallen to the ground is a massive shorting opportunity. The horizontal distance of an ornament along its branch represents expected volatility. Buy/sell signals are provided by the flashing of fairy lights. The strength of the signal is determined by the proximity of the light. If the lights change colour too you can use this to refine position size but of course be very careful with blue or purple signals. If the tree is real and sheds needles, then the needles can be examined to give an approximate Sharpe ratio. So be on the lookout for blunt needles. If the tree is artificial then you will need to improvise a similar calculation using bits of tinsel that have fallen down the back of the sofa. And that’s the basic framework for the system! I’ve included a brief FAQ below too which might help: I do not celebrate xmas and/or do not have a tree, what can I do? Not sure really, I’ve toyed with the idea of using the way custard flows over a slice of apple pie to determine portfolio composition but I’m afraid that idea hasn’t crystallised in to anything tradeable yet. Sorry. Yeah whatever, but will this make me rich? Consider the fate of Scrooge. What if the tree falls on me while I am adjusting the decorations in line with market moves? Good question; I recommend wearing a hat. Or in extremely volatile markets a motorbike helmet.