https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/09/28/campaign-approved-responses-trump-tax-returns/ You may be wondering what line to take on the president’s tax returns! Everything Donald Trump does is, of course, wonderful and no fault can be found with it, but in what way, exactly, is this tax return development wonderful? Below are some lines you can use while remonstrating with the many (misguided! snobbish!) people who think that this revelation is in some way bad for him. What great news about these tax returns! Donald Trump was looking everywhere for them! He must be very relieved that they have finally been found. These are fake! Donald Trump’s real tax returns would show that he was a billionaire, and they would also not involve what looks like a bunch of fraud! There has been a terrible mix-up! These are real! And they prove the president has no ties to Russia! Donald Trump has never done anything that is the least bit below-board, and he is extraordinarily disappointed in his accountant right now. Maybe it’s some other Donald J. Trump. Donald Trump believes in supporting American businesses. He is starting by getting his own out of this $400 million hole, and then he will turn to the others. The fact that Donald Trump tried to write off so many personal expenses is just because he is always working. Look, if you can prove that even for one moment Donald Trump had a moment of fun or joy or savored, even briefly, the amenities of a normal family life, he will reimburse you all! We know that Donald Trump owes millions of dollars, but we don’t know to whom he owes it. It could be to someone or something really patriotic! This is just routine tax stuff that everyone does, and they explain it to you the second you make your first billion! Do not say that Donald Trump paid only $750 in taxes in 2017. Donald Trump paid a full $750 in taxes! If you don’t think that’s a worthwhile amount, then I guess there’s no incentive to extend the Cares Act benefits! The fact that almost $400 million of personally guaranteed loans are coming due during what might be Donald Trump’s second term is great! It means he has an extra incentive to stay in office, where he belongs, and will work extra hard to see that the election has a happy ending. You know what else is millions of dollars in debt? America. Maybe nothing’s illegal? Just throwing that out there! I am choosing to believe that this won’t matter to most people. After all, this is America, known for its warm, non-judgmental approach to people who are in debt and struggling to keep their families afloat by any measures available to them. Why be any less generous to him than he would be to — well, look, I don’t have to keep going. All those times when his businesses were failing and no one could tell who lifted them, it was you, the American taxpayer, who carried them. And isn’t that thought beautiful? Actually, it is good to have a lot of debt, and if you want to know why, be sure to buy the new edition of “The Art of the Deal,” which for some reason now costs $400 million.