I'm done for the day but I wanted to update the thread with progress this week. Then I'll post what changes I've made recently to my plan... Win rate has improved this week - up to 75%. Trades per day and MAE have fallen significantly. The biggest change is removing the 5pt take profit for trades where the potential for greater moves is greater. I'm still happy to scalp 5pts from the market when the opportunity arises but I only had a few of those this week. Most days I was in at the open and was able to simply manage trades. This naturally has a lot to do with the moves we've had so I'm not getting ahead of myself here... Basically by any measurable statistic I am improving with each week. Paper trading profits are fine, but last time I checked they are non-redeemable for the real folding stuff Most importantly though: I have traded with discipline and patience. I have also maintained a neutral mindset whilst trading; so much so that I am sensing it has become my default position
I decided to split that post in two as this is a bit of a confessional and I need to post all of my thoughts.... Any poor bugger unfortunate enough to read these posts I do apologise. It's Friday.... ================================================ There has been a steady progression of improvement in the last few weeks and I have really started to experience the results I was hoping for when I started this journal earlier in the year. The biggest improvements aren't all technical, they are also psychological....So the mental aspects of my progress have been the most significant and rewarding change I've experienced recently...... Maybe there are some people who are born with the innate psychological skills or attitudes that a trader needs. But I certainly wasn't...... I wasn't a typical 'damaged trader' before I started this process in that I had never blown accounts and lost it all etc. But I had always struggled with anxiety with trading though. A peculiar side effect of my neurosis over trading and money meant that I have always had the same anxiety and palpitations etc over demo trades as with live trades.... Strangely this has never impacted other aspects of my life. I had control over large budgets (1.5M +) in my career as a PM, also my wife and I have had our total equity at stake in various property projects most of our married life and I never had any issues regarding anxiety. The amount of money we have set aside for trading is ridiculously small compared to the above figures.... Only trading brought out this response. I think this is because trading is really the only thing, aside from Golf, that I've ever been passionate about. And since I'm not playing the U.S Open this week it looks like trading is all I have now! This is a long and rambling post but basically I wanted to say to people that if you a re struggling with the psychology of trading then there is hope..... For the first time I now have a confidence in myself..... There is light at the end of this tunnel..... And my shoulders feel a hell of a lot lighter without that damn monkey on my back /Fin
This is like groundhog day.... The best I can say is that I've followed my plan this week. It has done its job and kept me out of this crappy market. Yes there have been trades but they've fallen out of the times I trade, failed to meet my criteria etc. I can look back at the market this week and see all the places I'd have thrown money away before now, so that's a real positive.... Damn it's annoying though I've got better things to spend my money on than losing trades...
This is good - guess which idiot took Friday off No update this week. See the above post for my thoughts. Toughest thing for me this week was fighting the urge to modify my Trade Plan and mess with it. Glad I didn't. Focussed on backtesting. I hate markets like this so I stayed away. Hope this gets easier, or should I say - I hope I get better at this A real bummer of a week.... Have a great weekend everyone!
It'll get easier the day after you say the hell with it and start over from scratch with an entirely new trading plan. As long as the ES is stuck in the middle, it's unlikely we're going anywhere. If nothing else, it's a good opportunity to poke oneself and determine whether one really is addicted to trading or can walk away from it and go do something interesting: a bike ride, a visit to the gym, weed the garden, paint the house . . .
What after all the work I put into getting this one up to speed? I felt comfortable with my decision not to trade but it is frustrating... I think there is a difference between passion and addiction. If I was addicted I would have been throwing orders at the market. Whereas I was focusing on more backtesting and stats work this week. Maybe its a confidence thing - I need more time in the markets trading live....