Bad European Humor: 'Des Belges' Two Belgians are driving a truck and arrive at a bridge over a deep ravine. There’s a warning sign: danger - maximum weight 4 tons. They get off and look at their cargo. Adding up the weight marked on each pallet they get 14 tons. Plus the weight of the truck itself. “What shall we do?” asks the first one. “I don’t see any police” says the other one “so let’s drive on!”
Detroit Anchor Wishes for ‘Dry Hump Day’ http://www.adweek.com/tvspy/detroit-anchor-wishes-for-dry-hump-day/147542
Wife : "I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars." Husband : "How about the ones like mine?" Wife : "Those they gave away." Husband : "I had a dream too...I dreamt they were auctioning off cunts. The pretty ones went for a thousand dollars, and the little tight ones went for two thousand." Wife : "And how much for the ones like mine?" Husband : "That's where they held the auction."
Dear Abby, My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from thebeginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job 14 years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and shoot the bullwith his buddies, while I have to work to pay the bills. Ever since our daughter went away to college, he doesn't even pretend to like me, and even hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do? Signed: Clueless ______________________________________________________________________ Dear Clueless: Grow up and dump him. Good grief woman! You don't need him anymore! You're running for President of the United States. Act like one.