The real epidemic in the States. Fortunately we have a real cure that works all the time. Stop stuffing donuts in your face and start getting some exercise.
I was in the Texas Rose last night,at the bar waiting for a beer, when a butt-ugly, big oldheifer came up behind me, and slapped me on the butt. She said, “Hey sexy, how about giving me your number.” I looked at her and said, ”Have you got a pen?” She said, “I sure do." I said, “ Well, you better get back in it before the farmer notices you’re missing.” My dental surgery is on Monday.
A Suspended Lawyer, an Illegal Alien, a Pathological Liar, a Muslim, a Communist, a Terrible golfer and a Black Guy walk into a BAR. Bartender says. "What'll it be, Mr. President?
A rabbi, a priest, an imam and a southern baptist preacher walk into a bar. The bartender takes one look at them and says: "What is this, some kind of joke?"
Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien The average Netflix user streams 46 hours a month. And the average senior citizen, 8 times a night