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What Would Jesus Trade?

  1. MLHP.OB
  2. QBID.PK


    Praise the Lord.
  3. ...it's Moses that invests.
  4. Lumber futures
  5. Having to prepare for armageddon, he might be boosting defense- and military-tech stocks. :D
  6. SM: St. Mary Land & Exploration
    TRN: Trinity Industries
    SJOE: State Joseph Capital
    CAVB: Cavalry Bancorp

  7. Icon Productions.
  8. Could trade the egg and butter futures at the CME. Jesus would have the ability to accumulate a massive short position, and if it went against him (I doubt that the market would move against Jesus -- talk about being on the wrong side of a trade, hate to write Jesus' name down as the counterparty to my trade--I thought it was bad having Goldman on the other side of the ticket) and if he bought back just one contract he could take that one egg and stick of butter and turn it into enough to cover his entire short position:p

  9. LOL, and when the position went against him, he wouldn't have to worry about taking his own name in vain.

  10. Arab slaves !!

  11. What would his acronym be if he traded on the floor -- I'm guessing GOD.

    Thought of this too -- think of the cash he could make trading weather derivatives !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. Solomon was the big time trader, horses and chariots is what he specialized in. He would be in GM today.

  13. Absolutely -- he'd be ruling the ag complex, too. Short some corn during a drought, and then call in a 3 am rainstorm.
  14. LMAO...

  15. Short GE, the owner of NBC.
  16. "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn .... and into the hole he gooooes."
  17. jesus would not trade, he was firmly aginst the money changers in the temple. It is aginst early church law to lend or borrow money at intrest--- so he sure would not have been a margin trader and currencys are out for the above reason. During the middle ages the jews became the bankers because they are not forbidden usury like the true followers of jesus, hence the stereotype.

    IMO if the world followed the teachings of jesus there would be no free market, and surely no exchanges. hello feudalism
  18. Matt 25:15-18 To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money.

    Is the message here that when God is handing you a new talent to trade with,don't bury it. A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are for.
  19. nice quote...
  20. Breakin wrote:

    >>>jews became the bankers because they are not forbidden usury like the true followers of jesus, hence the stereotype.<<<

    Actually, Judaism does have stringent and specific restrictions against usury. The reason they became banker was because they were barred from owning land, and the society was agrarian at that time.

    Jews were forced into the situation; and proved to be good at it. HENCE, the stereotype.
  21. Currency "Crosses" of course.
  22. Jesus wasn't against making a profit. There are mentions of wealthy christians in the acts of the apostles. For a while he worked with Joseph in the carpentry business, obviously they must've made some profit there to take care of themselves. He was against the money changers because they were making profits off of people practicing their religion. When jews made a pilgramage to the temple in jerusalem, which was a big deal for them, they would have the priests offer up animal sacrifices on their behalf. Because jews traveled from different parts of the roman empire, it was difficult for them to bring along their own sacrificial objects: lamb, sheep, etc. So there were animals sold for sacrificial purposes at the temple. To buy an animal sacrifice, you needed to do so with temple coins. To get temple coins, you had to buy them. The money changers would extract a profit on the transaction by giving less value in temple coin than for the money received. The animals the temple coin bought were overpriced. That this aspect of their religious worship had become one big commercial enterprise with one group ripping off the devout was likely the objection. Nothing's really changed down to today. As just one example, go into St Pat's in NYC and there's a store inside of it selling lots of religious trinkets to tourists who visit the church.
  23. Jesus would trade cocaine. Its the most profitable thing. And hey, he's jesus, so he could get away with it.
  24. Long SRV? :D
  25. Ok, I won't take my Laptop to church and trade for sure. I get a lot of, you know, "looks" anyhow.
  26. He wouldn't trade because he'd have to pay commission to brokers.
  27. bordeaux futures perhaps?
  28. "How do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose or forfeit your own soul in the process?"

    You gain the whole world.
  29. What would Jesus Trade?

    Well Jesus Velasquez says "Short this shit into the ground".
  30. ''

    When the early church disagrees with Jesus- God's Word you might want to go with Jesus, who also knew the old testament is Gods Word also .

    Wish Breakin would learn God's Word more WRONGFUL church tradition.

    I find that interesting Jesus spent a lot of time in DAD's carpentry business like homebuilders;
    King Solomon was on oldtimer trader , [who also is a ''type''or illustration of Jesus ] Solomon traded-


    & thats human speculation whether Solomon used margin for gold & silver . Don't know that & you dont either
    Solomon did trade gold & silver ; but not in a lazy way.


    livestock not flatstock or deadstock


    Actuall Breaken may or may not be right about the the wisdom of a FOREX account where the Broker knows the client 's stop loss.:D
    Alan Farley called it whack a mole quotes.

    God seems to smile on selected real estate borrowing, like homes, Synagogs, Churches... .:)

    49 or 50 years was the max loan period in Israel .:) & reread old testament .
  31. For those that are christians and are posting to this post:

    Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.

    Go see "The Passion of the Christ", if you have not seen it yet. Of all the movies ever made, this is a must see.
  32. Where are you getting your information?

  33. Hello,

    Oldtimer, are you familiar with or have you read any scripture? The answer you seek is there. Another source would be historical accounts of Jewish rituals & traditions, should you be leery of Biblical reference.

    I could give you the answer, however imho that makes it too easy. For those that truly yearn for knowledge, & understanding being pointed in the direction, or being asked the ?s that will help them derive the answer, are the best methods.

    May it bring you enjoyment in some form!
    Take Care & God Bless!

  34. He trades "Faith Futures." Most of the time he does "spreads", but no "options". For him, "options" is bad for his business, either you with him or you will ... well you don't wanna know.
  35. gemini do you really think having a little fun about what would jesus trade is what the prohibition about taking the lord thy gods name is vain is?

    I would find more offensive the amoun of oh my gods used to express emotion on television. But again is that taking his name in vain?

    Or would be more like all the uses of she is my god or she is a God when referring to a god looking women. But of couse this could be a generic god or a roman god.

    Or would it be In the name of God I command you to eat this soup.

    Or would it be when a preacher claims God told him to expand his chruch and therefore the chruch goers need to give more donations. Or even when the pope says something infallibly.

    Or would it be incorrectly stating God says ... or

    Or would it be God d------

    Or would it be swearing to God or making a deal with God and not intending to keep it.

    I do not know the answer but somehow asking what would Jesus trade does not seem offensive to me at the moment.
  36. Jesus made one trade and it was a winner.He traded his life for the sins of all humankind.It was a winning trade for everyone.
  37. You are just toooooo funny!:D :D :D I thought my "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn .... and into the hole he gooooes." was pretty good. But I must admit you are the best yet. LMAO

    :D :D :D
  38. Unfortunately blasphemy has become a part of our language, because of allowances such as those above. And yes, saying "oh my G_D" frivolously is wrong. More importantly, lack of reverence to G_D is offensive to G_D. My post is directed to Christians who need to be weary of participating in a thread as disrespectful as this one is.
  39. I was wondering how long it would take for someone to get this answer right.


    :) :) :)
  41. "God" is not God's name. It's a title of some sort, isn't it? Scripture makes mention of many gods. Certainly, all their names weren't also "God", so it does point to the term "God" as being some sort of label. Moreover, the ancient hebrews had a particular name for god, represented by the tetragrammaton, which was not the same word as the hebrew word for either "god" or "lord". In genesis, God distinguishes himself from the other gods by calling himself the one true God, which he wouldn't have to do if God were a name of one god only or enough of a term to serve to identify him distinctly. Rather, there's a lot of text that serves an identifying purpose such as "the God of your forefathers" and "the God of Abraham" and so on. Reflecting on that for a moment, it appears that these adjectives were needed to point to this one god. In fact, in some places the tetragrammaton appears along with "God" and "Lord" as an adjective for the tetragrammaton itself. In the ancient texts that featured the tetragrammaton, the scribes replaced it's appearance with "elohim" and "adonai" ("God" and "Lord") so that no blasphemy may accidently occur by misspelling his name when transcribing (and probably also to prevent readers from accidentally mispronouncing his name) a practice which is down to today practiced by religious jews, as seen in your spelling "God" as "G_d", (although why that variation is not itself considered purposeful misspelling I have no idea, but apparently has its reason why it's considered OK to do).

    Not that I'm condoning disrespect or your perception of it. But you're right about how it's become very much a part of the language. I was watching some show on TV the other night on network TV, and as you may know, there is a renewed concentrated effort to stay away from all matters they believe to be indecent. They kept bleeping out the "four letter" words, but left what would be considered by you and others to be blasphemous use of the deity's name completely intact.
  42. I'll second that Samson!:cool: The only answer, as the rest is just speculation. Of course this only applies for those who have chosen to be a believer!

    Have a Nice day!
    God Bless & GF2U!
  43. I'll respectfully correst you and just say, it COULD be a winning trade for everyone.
  44. And to think, when this thread was originally started people were just coming up with funny hypotheticals, now it's turned into ANOTHER thread on religion.

    Any chance we can get back to some creative answers to the original meaning of this thread ??
  45. Gemini 315 wrote:
    >>>For those that are christians and are posting to this post:

    Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain…

    and the later,

    …Unfortunately blasphemy has become a part of our language, because of allowances such as those above. And yes, saying "oh my G_D" frivolously is wrong. More importantly, lack of reverence to G_D is offensive to G_D. My post is directed to Christians who need to be weary of participating in a thread as disrespectful as this one is.<<<

    OK, this is a financial forum, but I wanted to point out to Gemini that the commandment he quoted was one of Judaism's top 10 far before Jesus came along. I have to tell you that I find your left-handed complementary explanations of why Jews are viewed as greedy, and how Christians, only, need to take note of a pillar of the Judeo-Christian ethic to be more than a little offensive.

    If you don't know where to find the references to Jews as usurers within the texts, then say so. Here's a hint, though, they don't exist. Perhaps there is commentary that reaches these conclusions, but not all commentary is viewed as being credible. The Temple sacrifices? Come on. You can do better than THAT! Why not talk about how Jews control the media and the government? It's all the same.

    Let me guess. You're relatively new to this "religion as a part of my daily life" thing.

    Sorry to unload, everyone. I originally looked at this string as being entertaining. Until I read between the lines.

  46. water to wine - no growing of grapes, no distilling - talk about a nice margin
  47. GODR.PK Goderich Elevators Ltd
    DAMNF.PK David Minerals
  48. Oldtimer,

    You are quoting someone else's post, not mine.
  49. This was your ? that I replied to with this response.


    No where in the above referenced text do I see reference to the Jewish as collectors of usury. The post referred to the profit that was made from the exchange from a currency into temple currency, & the purchase of sacrificial animals with that, which there was also a profit from.

    This profit is not able to be defined by usury, as usury is collected from the act of lending money, not exchanging it. If commentary is the only other source, as in bibilical you can allude to, then your search would be in vain.

    While your perception of being able to read between the lines, after finding this as entertaining has led you to digress even further. Therefore I believe it may be best on my part to end our exchange here, unless there becomes a compelling reason not to.

    Good Luck on your quest!
    May God Bless You & Yours!
  50. haha. gee sys :p
  51. ===============
    OLD timer;

    Remember about 30 years ago when i was talking to someone about saving accounts ,
    & believe it not his nickname was ''rabbit''

    & he suddenly screamed at me
    WHAT ARE YOU , SOME KIND OF A jew & HE GOT HOT FAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ONE OF THE FEW TIMES I EVER I FIGURED JESUS ever helped me remarkable right in the middle of a trade;

    I smiled at him & said thanks for the compliment, my DAD was a banker most all his life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Sure took all the volume out of his trading insult;
    he suddenly looked like a spitting cobra while i had sunglasses on.


    Someone usually says you got a scripture for that???

    Yes, back to the OLD testament-''He tht sitteth in the heavens shall laugh-
    Psalms 2:D