LIVING The insane things people will do to get a coveted Hamptons beach pass By Stephanie Krikorian May 21, 2019 | 11:28pm | Updated Enlarge Image Composite: Shutterstock; Getty MORE ON: THE HAMPTONS Designer Nicole Miller debuts her own rosé Anna Wintour had some advice for kids’ line Maison Mini Luxury Hamptons homes now come with professional sports facilities For sale in the Hamptons: Rachael Ray’s compound and Scaramucci’s pad While this weekend marks the official kickoff to summer craziness in the Hamptons, for those in the know, the season really begins on Feb. 1. That’s when the highly coveted, limited-quantity, $400, one-season-use, non-resident parking permits for the five East Hampton Village beaches go on sale, allowing access to the most sublime strips of sand, ocean and celeb-spotting around. Without this particular sticker, there’s no point in even showing up for summer. When you buy a house outside the village limits, the Town of East Hampton issues you a beach parking pass. Cute, but it’s beach-pass light. Nobody tells you about the more secluded, exclusive (only 3,100 available) village passes, which get you chicer beachgoers and smaller crowds. And this is just one of the ever-increasing secret insider rituals on how to survive the Hamptons. Think I’m exaggerating? Group texts start to whip around at the end of January. This year, my friend Kenny fired one off: “Guys, beach passes go on sale tomorrow. Don’t forget.” Our friend Ron was on the chain. I texted back: “Hey, Ron’s mom died yesterday.” Kenny’s response: “Yeah I know . . . but he still needs a beach pass.” SEE ALSO Spend the summer at these secret East Coast beach towns Harsh but true. In fact, Ron’s wife, Lori, frantically texted me en route to the funeral. At midnight, they tried to secure a permit online, only to learn that passes didn’t go on sale until Village Hall opened for business that morning. I had to jump in. Before Ron and Lori could bury his mother, Alice, they scrambled to get me all of the necessary documentation: car registration, driver’s license and credit-card info. Simultaneously, my friend Samantha and I were having the same exchange. She had just been diagnosed with breast cancer and was also facing beach-pass crisis: Get to her oncologist’s appointment or get her documents together so she didn’t get shut out of summer. Cancer could wait. Beach parking could not. Zen Bender: A Decade-Long Enthusiastic Quest to Fix Everything (That Was Never Broken),” out on Aug. 15.