1. Sheryl Crow on Environmentalism: "I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares [sic] of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.'" 2. Joe Biden on culturalism: "In Delaware, the largest growth of population is Indian Americans, moving from India. You cannot go to a 7/11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I'm not joking." 3. Whoopi Goldberg on 43-year-old Roman Polanski raping and sodomizing a 13-year-old girl: "I know it wasn't rape-rape. It was something else but I don't believe it was rape-rape. He went to jail and and [sic] when they let him out he was like "You know what this guy's going to give me a hundred years in jail I'm not staying, so that's why he left." 4. Joy Behar on Economics: "Isn't it a little racist to call it Black Friday?" 5. John Conyers on the Health Care Bill, which he voted for: "I love these members, they get up and say, âRead the bill ... What good is reading the bill if it's a thousand pages and you don't have two days and two lawyers to find out what it means after you read the bill?'" 6. Former DNC Chairman Donald Fowler on possible delay of RNC convention due to Hurricane Gustav: "Plus they think the hurricane's going to hit (starts laughing) New Orleans about the time they start. The timing, at least it appears now, that it'll be there Monday. That just demonstrates God's on our side" 7. Barack Obama: "I've now been in 57 states? I think one left to go?" 8. John Kerry on the troops: "You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq." 9. Howard Dean: "We know that no one person can succeed unless everybody else succeeds." 10. Rosie O'Donnell: "Don't fear the terrorists. They're mothers and fathers." 11. Al Gore: "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet." 12. Congressman Hank Johnson on Guam: "My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize," 13. Alan Grayson on Health Care: "The Republican health care plan: don't get sick ... The Republicans have a back up plan in case you do get sick ... This is what the Republicans want you to do. If you get sick America, the Republican health care plan is this: Die quickly!" 14. Nancy Pelosi on the economy: "every month that we do not have an economic recovery package 500 million Americans lose their jobs." 15. Helen Thomas: Jews should "get the hell out of Palestine" and "go home" to Germany and Poland. 16. Wanda Sykes: "I think Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker but he was just so strung out on Oxycontin he missed his flight ... Rush Limbaugh -- I hope the country fails. I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs." 17. Bill Clinton on ordinary Americans: "African Americans watch the same news at night that ordinary Americans do." 18. Barack Obama on a tornado that killed twelve people: "In case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died - an entire town destroyed" 19. Harry Reid on Iraq: "This war is lost and the surge is not accomplishing anything." 20. Kanye West: "George Bush doesn't care about black people." 21. Joe Biden on the economy: "The number one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S." 22. Bill Maher on Christianity: "I think religion is a neurological disorder. 23. Joe Biden on History: "When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened." 24. Ted Rall: "Over time, however, the endless war in Iraq began to play a role in natural selection. Only idiots signed up; only idiots died. Back home, the average I.Q. soared." 25. Michael Moore on terrorism: "There is no terrorist threat. Yes, there have been horrific acts of terrorism and, yes, there will be acts of terrorism again. But that doesn't mean that there's some kind of massive terrorist threat."