**Just In: Obama's New Sweeping Legislation!! MUST READ!!**

Discussion in 'Politics' started by hapaboy, Mar 17, 2009.

  1. *The Americans** With No Abilities Act*

    Washington , DC - (Dateline March 17, 2009)

    President Barack Obama and the Democrat controlled Congress /are
    considering/ sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for
    many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being
    hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of
    Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

    "Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive
    necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,"
    said California Senator Barbara Boxer - Democrat. "We can no longer
    stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed
    over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant
    special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have
    some idea of what they are doing."

    In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi –
    Democrat, and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid – Democrat - pointed to
    the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy
    of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74
    percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the
    single largest U.S. employer of Persons of Inability.

    Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination
    against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry
    (68%), and home improvement warehouse stores (65%). At the state
    government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent
    record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).

    Under AWNAA, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created,
    with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus
    providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

    Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so
    as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable
    employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to
    corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability
    into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and
    medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every
    two talented hires.

    Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult
    to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example,
    discriminatory interview questions such as, "Do you have any skills or
    experience that relate to this job?"

    "As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who
    Have something going for them,"said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her
    position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint , Michigan , due
    to her inability to remember rightey tightey, lefty loosey."This new law
    should be real good for people like me," Gertz added. With the passage
    of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will
    finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

    Said Senator Dick Durbin (Democrat-IL), "As a Senator with no abilities,
    I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be
    extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as
    lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his
    or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great
    nation and a good salary for doing so."
  2. At least we have some honest political uncorrect talk.