Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. "Whats good for GM is good for the country....look out below."

    "No job? no money? no life? Let GM put you back on the road!!"

    "The Chevy Volt is the only electric car that, oddly enough, needs gasoline to move forward."

    "Cramer, who I will never forget the day after the IPO was telling everyone to buy GM up to $40."
     
    #9541     Aug 18, 2011
  2. oh boy, I had to read this one twice, before I got it, therefore it's a good joke.:D

    There seems to be a problem with the oceanic orchestra . . .

    They're out of tuna.

    See I told ya. duh. :D :D :D
     
    #9542     Aug 18, 2011
  3. Has Trump been playing around with his E Trade account?

    BAC will be folded into JPMorganChaseMetLifeWellsFargoStateFarm. Might take a day or two, at the most.
     
    #9543     Aug 18, 2011
  4. fhl

    fhl

    During a good manners and etiquette class being held for young children, the teacher says to her students:

    "If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?"

    Mike replies: "Wait a minute, I'm going for a piss."

    The teacher says: "That would be very rude and improper on your part."

    Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute."

    The teacher says: "That's much better but to mention the word "toilet" during a meal, is unpleasant."

    And Little Johnny says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope to be able to introduce to you after dinner."
     
    #9544     Aug 19, 2011

  5. Watch the very end. Steve martin handles the bathroom situation perfectly.


    <iframe width="420" height="345" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/nqMc9B7uDV8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
     
    #9545     Aug 19, 2011
  6. Graffiti Removal
     
    #9546     Aug 19, 2011
  7. Hi, could you send a police car round to my house please...
     
    #9547     Aug 19, 2011
  8. Yannis

    Yannis

    Here's A Good One

    <object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fER-WhFUzoA?version=3"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fER-WhFUzoA?version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></object>

    :cool: :cool: :cool:
     
    #9548     Aug 19, 2011
  9. Humpy

    Humpy

    An engineer died and reported to the pearly gates. An intern angel, filling in for St. Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, "Ah, you're an engineer; you're in the wrong place."

    So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons.

    One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

    Satan laughed and replied, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

    God's face clouded over and he exploded, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake; he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

    Satan shook his head, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

    God was as mad as he had ever been, "This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. Send him back up here or I'll sue."

    Satan laughed uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"


    :)
     
    #9549     Aug 21, 2011
  10. "Biden Tells China US Will Never Default"

    We're safe.

    Now if Geithner said that...uhmnnnn that's different.
     
    #9550     Aug 21, 2011