Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. Humpy

    Humpy

    USA Senior Health Care Solution

    So you're a senior citizen and the government says no health care for you, what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot 2 senators and 2 representatives. Of Course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, and all the health care you need! New teeth, no problem. Need glasses, great. New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart? All covered. And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care. Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes any more.

    IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?!
     
    #9481     Aug 10, 2011
  2. Humpy

    Humpy

    Now that everyone is entitled to health care - the Government is bankrupt so take a hike
     
    #9482     Aug 10, 2011
  3. Four senior citizens sat at a table in nursing home, eating their lunch. One man says, "I've heard the new guy, Albert, has got Alzheimer's. Let's change stuff round in his room to mess with his head!"

    The other three ignore him and carry on eating.

    "Come on, you boring old farts," says the man. "It'll be a laugh!"

    After an awkward silence, a woman sat next to him and said, "Just shut up and eat your soup, Albert."
     
    #9483     Aug 10, 2011
  4. <iframe width="560" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/xaG4A0Bm8c4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
     
    #9484     Aug 10, 2011
  5. nitro

    nitro

    I wonder if this is fake, or if these guys are seriously just lifting their cheek and letting it rip right on tv and pretending nothing happened.

    BTW, he is right.
     
    #9485     Aug 10, 2011
  6. fhl

    fhl

    Lifelock, the identity protection company, has just achieved a real coup. For their next commercial campaign and endorsement, they've just signed the biggest star in the world.

    President Barack Obama!!!!
     
    #9486     Aug 10, 2011
  7. fhl

    fhl

    I'm gonna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to.

    But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.
     
    #9487     Aug 11, 2011
  8. I have to laugh, I don't even know what he said. I was listening for the fart.:D

    p.s. I think what I'm going to have to do is, listen to him several times, get the fart thing out of the way. Then, listen to it once with my eyes closed, this will get the gay nonsense out of the way. I won't have to watch his mouth moving while farting. Sounds like a lot of work. I'll put it on my to do list.
     
    #9488     Aug 11, 2011
  9. LEAPup

    LEAPup

    Since he's a queer, I'd say the fart couldn't be held back. Ewww!!!!!!!!:eek: :eek: :D

    My Mother is a retired Registered Nurse, and I have numerous medical people in my family. You would not believe the stories I've over heard over the years!:eek: :eek: Some of the sickos have to wear adult diapers as they have destroyed their spinchter. Disghusting!
     
    #9489     Aug 11, 2011
  10. Breaking News: Stock Market Soars as President Obama Announces Vacation

    :D
     
    #9490     Aug 11, 2011