ET Cold Turkey

Discussion in 'Psychology' started by Duref Mudgins, Sep 5, 2007.

  1. And to the community in general, you can't stand it, can you? That one strong person put ALL of you on ignore? ET is a cesspool of superstition:

    Belief that the lunar cycle influences market pricing through its correlation with the menses. Though they drive men mad, they do not yet demonstrably drive the markets, that last bastion of male rationality.

    Belief that indicators actually INDICATE something.

    Giving imaginary price patterns wild animal names, as primitive man once anthropomorphized the inscrutible heavens by naming the constellations.

    Giving pride of place to feeble forgetful old men who can only reminisce about how great they thought it was in the good old days.

    Inventing boogey men to explain the stochastochaotic. "The smart money moved it!" "THEY screwed me!" "Watch THEM build a wall!"

    Calculating wildly mystical Liberace levels to seven decimal places!

    Trembling in fear and awe as ET's wild-eyed medicine men cast knuckle bones and sacrifice scrawny free range chickens: Doaks calculates a wholly fraudulent "osculator" with slide rule and pencil. Hershey draws arcane lines in crayon on the sidewalk and casts baleful glares at all who dare to doubt. Merchant makes computers squeal like docked hogs when price crosses lines visible only to himself.

    Why, do you know? I correspond privately with traders who think they can PREDICT the next stop price will make? Who see the market as nothing more than an elaborate Pachinko machine? "Look, Duref!", they hiss. "I drew this magic line on my screen, and it is such powerful mojo that price is afraid to cross it!"

    Innumerist amazement that a straight line can be forced to pass through two widely separated points.

    Feverish, febrile old defense engineers facilely and fervidly but fallaciously apply finite mathematics to a process which has infinite non-zero derivatives and an infinite impulse response.

    Infantile fantasies that money is lying on the floors of the exchanges only waiting to be picked up, as if those who rested it there weren't watching it with raptorially predatory eyes, waiting for the cheese to tempt the wretched ravenous field mice.

    Ignorant savages, the lot of you!
     
    #11     Sep 5, 2007
  2. And looking at what purports to be Neo-TA, I am astounded to find that the level of mathematical illiteracy is so low on ET that a blatant charlatan like Doaks can pass off prosaic mathematical operations as original inventions.

    Or that posters with more imagination and algorithmic skill than good sense devise absurd epicyclic models of price action, when the simple reality is that market makers continually contort the inside market to create volume and to end the day flat by having made the public continually doubt the profitability of the positions they put on at have random.

    Analysts who would never draw "down" price in the same direction as "up" price blithely draw both "up" and "down" volume in the same direction. And then opine that volume operates at twice the frequency of price. And these are engineers who understand full-wave rectification, but haven't a clue that they are applying it to volume.
     
    #12     Sep 5, 2007
  3. plodder

    plodder

    Sigh. So true. The truth is out.
     
    #13     Sep 5, 2007
  4. DeepSky

    DeepSky

    Genius Dr Duref Mudgins! Best read in months.
     
    #14     Sep 5, 2007
  5. A "show", you say?

    The "show" is that gurus who couldn't code up a Liberace sequence sagely accept what their chart providers proffer as truth, utterly blind to the inaccuracies that fed those charts. Could they acquire the "nagual" of the quantum tick and calculate the "tonal" of the macro for themselves? Not a chance. Hence "up" volume is cheerfully accepted as authentically "up". For how could it possibly be "down"?

    Illiterate. Innumerate. Gullible. Easily led. For they do not wish to be bothered with the messy fine details.

    You'll never get my client back in your clutches, ET!
     
    #15     Sep 5, 2007
  6. You totally broke my concentration at my night job, bringing on such mirth and levity as it was impossible for me to accomplish any real work for the entire evening.

    I can see who I'll be putting on ignore next! :p

    JJ
     
    #16     Sep 6, 2007
  7. ET Cold Turkey - Day Three

    Weary Dr. Mudgins: "So how's it going?"

    Rested ET Client: "Just great! Before last night I had no idea how much time I was wasting on ET in the wee hours, you know, when the wee people post? 'Herrow ET Tlader! Menny munnys made tloday tlading HungSling!' But you don't look so hot. Wassup?"

    Mudgins: "I was up most of the night trying to understand ProfLogic's EquiVolume charting. I figure anybody 'Surfer thinks is an asshole can't be ALL bad."

    Client: "Most ETer's would agree."

    Mudgins: "Then just when I thought I'd got it, that guy Doaks proposed the exact opposite system, EquiPrice. Now I am really confused."

    Client: "Doc, I know just what you need. Instead of surfing ET last night, I started a new business."

    Mudgins: "Oh, yeah?"

    Client: "Oh, yeah. You know how you go through the grocery store checkout line, and you see all these trashy weeklies? Like 'This Week on the Soaps'? "

    Mudgins: "Um humm."

    Client: "Well I just started 'This Week on ET!': 'Asshole 109 Banned! Reincarnated as Asshole 110!' 'ProfLogic Stole My Favorite Agate, Surfer Whines!' 'I Was an Executive in the Carter Administration, Jack Reminds!' "

    Mudgins: "Can I get a sneak peek? ET is worse than cable. When I flick channels, invariably I miss something good!"

    Client: "Know whatcha mean. When I flick channels on ET I always land on the commercials."
     
    #17     Sep 6, 2007
  8. plodder

    plodder

    Hey! If your client's new venture doesn't work, you could advise him to become an ET moderator. Perfect job for an ET addict.
     
    #18     Sep 6, 2007
  9. It worked for Electric Savant.
     
    #19     Sep 6, 2007
  10. ET Cold Turkey - Day Five

    Concerned Dr. Mudgins: "You didn't call me yesterday. You OK?"

    Contemplative ET Client: "I had some issues."

    Mudgins: "Such as?"

    Client: "I realized that I am an addictive personality."

    Mudgins: "I am glad YOU said it!"

    Client: "You know how when you try to quit smoking, you drink more coffee? Or you try to quit drinking and you sleep too much? Or you quit doing what you like to your girlfriend and you start surfing porn?"

    Mudgins (smirking): "Never saw that before."

    Client: "Well, when I quit ET, I started emailing posters I know there. And sneaking quick looks at T2W."

    Mudgins: "And...?"

    Client: "So I said "Fuck it! If I'm going to be a junkie, I might as well organize it efficiently into my life.' "

    Mudgins: "A novel approach."

    Client: "So I did an old-fashioned time-and-motion study of my day. Found all the time-consuming but necessary-evil activities. And put wireless cards on otherwise useless old laptops where those activities are centered."

    Mudgins: "Let me get my notepad....continue..."

    Client: "So now I search for and read all of Jack's posts while I'm taking a piss."
     
    #20     Sep 7, 2007