Registered: May 2005
Posts: 6140

Music producer at dinner, notices the piano player is playing the most absolutely beautifully melody he has ever heard. At the break he goes over, gives the guy a card, says, "why don't you let me produce this for you."

"No, it never works. Other guys have tried. "

"You're telling me you couldn't record this and... Hey, let's go to the men's room where we can talk".

The boys hit the urinal. Our composer says, "I wrote that piece over the love of my life. It's called, "I Love You So Fucking Much, I Could Shit. " That's the name of it, it stays, and no one can make me change my mind."

"Oh well, it's your life. " says the Producer. "By the way. Do you know you're pissing all over your shoes?"

"Know it!!???!!?? Hell, I wrote it."

Registered: Jan 2002
Posts: 5293

Ahhh, Those Brits!!

Two English gentlemen were talking about the weather one day when one looks into the distance and says: "Sir, do you see that lady over there?"

To which the other one replies indignantly: "What on Earth do you mean? That's no lady... That's my wife!"

Registered: May 2005
Posts: 6140

> > WOMAN'S POEM
>
> Before I lay me down to sleep,
> I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
> One who's handsome, smart and strong.
> One who loves to listen long,
> One who thinks before he speaks,
> One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
> I pray he's gainfully employed,
> When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
> Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
> Massages my back and begs to do more.
> Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
> Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
> I pray that this man will love me to no end,
> And always be my very best friend.
>
> MAN'S POEM
>
> I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs
> who owns a liquor store and a golf course. This
> doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit

Registered: Sep 2006
Posts: 339

How come the Mexican army had only 600 soldiers at the battle of Alamos?

They only got 2 cars.

Registered: May 2005
Posts: 6140

---

Quote from Rocko1:

How come the Mexican army had only 600 soldiers at the battle of Alamos?

They only got 2 cars.

---

Registered: Dec 2003
Posts: 32006

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants.



The iTit will cost $499 or $599 depending on speaker size.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have long complained about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

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