Ok, so I've learned alot the past few weeks about psychology/seduction/pickup. Read The Mystery Method, Niel Strauss's - the game, and working through The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene, and studying the 48 Laws of Power.
There are a few core principles, that seem intuitive (we call these people naturals) but aren't for many (me).
They are: be funny, witty, non-threatening, be interesting and laid back. Many believe laughter is the best seduction. I have scarcely been this way picking up a woman. Usually I'm very direct and serious - it's in my nature. This is not the way to go about pickup. From personal experience, the more indirect I was, the more I could tell a woman wanted me - mostly in college, when I was focused on school and ignoring women.
It's good to have a game plan and have stories/routines memorized to assist yourself in being interesting. Fluffing (small talk) is discouraged in intial pickups because you will appear common or like an AFC (average frustrated chump - me).
For attracting a woman, you want to disqualify yourself as a suitor and make yourself unattainable in their eyes. This is done partly by utilizing negs (playful insults meant to evoke laughter) and implementing cat-string theory. By doing this, you give yourself value as a male and appear different than most other guys or AFCs.
I have a few routines memorized and some negs for an upcoming meet I have with a woman I'm interested in. I'll report back after my field test.
So far I have:
- approached indirectly (I challenged her to a race, because I know she runs)
- negged her, and appeared laid back (I said if she was too chicken, then that's fine and she didn't have to go)
- prepared routines and some negs for when we meet
She replied with laughter and acceptance of the challenge -women like being challenged and bossed around - though I'm sure they won't admit it
My guess is that you will likely come across as contrived and unnatural. And if THAT is what actually does it for her, then that is how you will probably have to remain while you are with her. And this is what you want? My second guess is that if you actually succeed with the women in whom you're interested in this manner, it will likely be in spite of this stuff rather than because of it.
If you're not going to be yourself, or at least a semi-confident version of yourself, then who will? Is is so difficult to be light and friendly while otherwise being yourself? (Scripted conversations. Such fun.) The more you dwell on what you're going to say and how clever you're going to be, the less attention you will have available to respond to her cues and comments. You will not be spontaneous and "in the moment." Go Zen, young man.
Ok, so I've learned alot the past few weeks about psychology/seduction/pickup. Read The Mystery Method, Niel Strauss's - the game, and working through The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene, and studying the 48 Laws of Power.
There are a few core principles, that seem intuitive (we call these people naturals) but aren't for many (me).
They are: be funny, witty, non-threatening, be interesting and laid back. Many believe laughter is the best seduction. I have scarcely been this way picking up a woman. Usually I'm very direct and serious - it's in my nature. This is not the way to go about pickup. From personal experience, the more indirect I was, the more I could tell a woman wanted me - mostly in college, when I was focused on school and ignoring women.
It's good to have a game plan and have stories/routines memorized to assist yourself in being interesting. Fluffing (small talk) is discouraged in intial pickups because you will appear common or like an AFC (average frustrated chump - me).
For attracting a woman, you want to disqualify yourself as a suitor and make yourself unattainable in their eyes. This is done partly by utilizing negs (playful insults meant to evoke laughter) and implementing cat-string theory. By doing this, you give yourself value as a male and appear different than most other guys or AFCs.
I have a few routines memorized and some negs for an upcoming meet I have with a woman I'm interested in. I'll report back after my field test.
So far I have:
- approached indirectly (I challenged her to a race, because I know she runs)
- negged her, and appeared laid back (I said if she was too chicken, then that's fine and she didn't have to go)
- prepared routines and some negs for when we meet
She replied with laughter and acceptance of the challenge -women like being challenged and bossed around - though I'm sure they won't admit it
this is good, and really pickup canned material and instruction is just a means to an end. and that end is, ironically, being yourself and congruent.
The only difference is this time, with experience and enough reference points with women, you'll be the best you, the confident you that knows 'you are enough'.
My guess is that you will likely come across as contrived and unnatural. And if THAT is what actually does it for her, then that is how you will probably have to remain while you are with her. And this is what you want? My second guess is that if you actually succeed with the women in whom you're interested in this manner, it will likely be in spite of this stuff rather than because of it.
If you're not going to be yourself, or at least a semi-confident version of yourself, then who will? Is is so difficult to be light and friendly while otherwise being yourself? (Scripted conversations. Such fun.) The more you dwell on what you're going to say and how clever you're going to be, the less attention you will have available to respond to her cues and comments. You will not be spontaneous and "in the moment." Go Zen, young man.
Brass... I think you got the wrong impression. Like ChkItOut said above, PUAs stress congruency. The point isn't to be someone else, but rather have a set of tools to help yourself shine and let your personality out while not falling into the average chumps routine of talking about what everyone else does.
Sponaneatiy is very important as well. Being unpredictable is one of the laws of power and a trait I think women look for in a man. The conversations are not to be scripted! The only is your opener. The point is to have something to say instead of trying to come up with something or saying something boring. The PUAs suggest coming up with your own routines and stories so that you are calibrated when telling them and appear congruent to your set.
The general Zen philosophy is congruent with what the most successful PUAs suggest... that is calm, in search of enlightenment and meditation. Last time I was out iwth friends, they all told me how good of a time they had and how they want me to come back home more often to hang out. How did I do this? By using the tools that I've learned from these seduction/psychology readings. My old AFC self wouldn't have made such a good time for myself and others.
I would argue the biggest AFC trait is the INability to be himself around girls and pua are basically trying to dismantle the shell around you with various tips and tricks.
"I realized about 8 months ago that my hit rate was skyrocketing. This winter and spring I had some incredible weeks: 4 girls in 5 days; 2 girls in one night, etc. I thought about why things were so plentiful and the answer was: I had a system."
This is from Paul Janka's "Getting laid in NYC." At this point in my life, I'm so happy I found something interesting to read. I used to hate reading!
"So, back to the system. Prior to recognizing how effective a system for getting laid could be, I would take my opportunities where they presented themselves: poolside at a wedding, on the Chinatown bus between Boston and NYC, in a cab, in Central Park. Dont get me wrong, there is not a wrong place to take a woman. But if you want to get
laid with a minimum of time, energy, hassle, bullshit, and most importantly, cost, then you should work out an effective system."
Of course I really love his talk about having a system. I losing trader has no system. A loser without a girlfriend has no system either. I am BOTH AHHAHAHA! But thanks to Paul and his insight, I realize how important having a system is in trading as well as approaching women!
"Well, any Wall Street trader will talk to you about testing the market to see whats out there what the appetite is on a particular stock. Same thing with girls."
This is the reason I love trading, it is similar to some many other things! It's so ironic how things often come full circle. Trading contains many paradoxes, and so does understanding the opposite sex!
Haven't gone running with the girl I mentioned last month yet. So... as Paul would say... "Next!"
