Update from RM: I'll provide way more details once I can finally get proper access to the net, but fyi the middleman I was buying it from snitched me out. I knew not to trust the sleazebag, but back when I was addicted, I'd have scored from satan himself if I had to, just not to get junk sick.
Big Brother sent in the HIDTA task force to set me up and take me down (look it up if you wish). An FBI special agent, DEA, and a whole pigpen of cops. Good thing they spent all that time on me instead of going out busting REAL criminals instead, right?
Honestly though, now that I've gotten to know many other H addicts in here, I can kinda see how that whole 'filthy junkie' stereotype thing got started. I've seen how addiction really can turn a stand up guy into a scumbag immediately upon his relapse... so that particular stereotype is no longer all that offensive to me.
As it stands now, it may be possible for me to get some kind of conditional release, sometime within the next couple weeks. If I don't fuck up and relapse (and I won't), I may just get out of this without a felony conviction. Peace out.. and enjoy scooping up all that easy money for as long as I'm knocked out of the game and unable to take it from them first.
hmmm.......
I think you will relapse again. You are still blaming others for your problem... "sleazebag middleman.... pigpen of cops..." You have not hit rock bottom yet. Until you do..... you will never be able to start the road to recovery.
and he's probably a little bit pissed at you, you fucking self righteous asshole.
But you couldn't care less........... right?
No problem champ.....I'm sure there's more where that came from....
Ha ha... God is Love Stevie boy, and He wants his people to be the same. How do you go from Love to calling somebody horrible names like that?
Hey Reardon, I'm reading "The Mexican Mafia" by Tony Rafael. He outlines how those guys and La Cosa Nostra are heavily invested in rehab places, they use them for several purposes and it works out great for them... What I'm saying is that if you go to a rehab it might really just be a shooting gallery buddy, don't put your hopes in external stuff, just yourself and God... I went to one of those prayer meetings where people go up front and get knocked down on stage... I asked for prayer to quit smoking and when the guy prayed for me something went through me like a big breath of love and fresh air and removed the habit from me. Two weeks later it was easy to quit smoking...... I've never had a smoke since and only twice for a second or two had any desire to smoke and the second hand smoke smells good if people are outside and smoking even... God is Love, quit hating on the police and everybody, they are mostly good people doing good things, get over it...
I think you will relapse again. You are still blaming others for your problem... "sleazebag middleman.... pigpen of cops..." You have not hit rock bottom yet. Until you do..... you will never be able to start the road to recovery.
Yeah, I do get why you'd think that... But perhaps some additional details could shed a bit more light on the matter.
The root cause of my intense disapproval toward America's rapid (yet some how barely noticed) descent into fascism... is ironically also the reason why I'm not about to relapse: I HATE being controlled, and at the complete mercy of other people... or drugs.
Being a slave to the needle as I was, isn't all too different than being enslaved by another person. If I attempt to 'chip' (occasionally use) any form of opiate, I'd certainly get re-addicted and re-enslaved. I do fully realize that fact...
Well first of all sweetheart if God is love....I think he wouldn't let innocent people suffer and die for no reason....So that bullshit doesn't sell here.
and as for Reardon, my neighbor's is a good MD psch doc, and he says addicts never get cured, and that most of them are sociopaths. One night I asked him how it all plays out for them and he said
Depends....if they are "high functioning" they might stay alive for years unless they get shot in an alley or bar trying to score, either way they always want to get high and they will say and do anything to get there. Sooner or later either a cop or a drug connection takes them out...."
What about treatment and a cure?
Treatment is "iffy", and most of us believe that there is no real cure for either drug addiction or sociopathy.....They are simply broken people.....
Some might say you have a cynical view of the situation.
"Well in my world I see the whole game play out, and in these cases its almost never a fairy tale ending".
