Registered: Mar 2008
12-22-10 04:01 PM
So, why not now?
He is a sovereign being with exactly the same wants, needs and aspirations as you. He has always been your equal even though he may display obnoxious behavior and seem totally out of control and unreasonable to you.
All the stuff that you mention (teaching him manners, respect, humility, value of hard work etc etc) whilst laudable, is also laughable compared to the benefits of having an expansive, loving relationship with him NOW, sans the control mechanism. Why wait?
Give him the freedom to make all the "mistakes" that you - and all of us - made in our "formative years" and let him know clearly and unambiguously that you trust him and stand by him wherever it leads. Be honest with him, be vulnerable - step outside the program - and allow him to flourish in ways you can't possibly imagine now.
Yes, its a big ask for anyone and I have also had more than my fair share of screaming matches with an "alien demon"adolescent son. My ongoing experience is that force just doesn't work in the long run, even if we believe in our heart of hearts that what we are doing is "the right thing" and an expression of parental love.
So, end of sermon.
These words are aimed at me just as much as anyone who has ever/is yet to to experience the raging, angry young man syndrome. As you say, trading is a piece of cake compared to all that.
Good luck RN..you always bring words of wisdom to ET.
I humbly submit that Nutmeg is offering very valuable advice here.
Let the stoning begin.
And one day I will accept my Son as an equal – and hopefully one day he will become my better
Yes - one day I look forward to being my Son’s friend
But not today…….
I will be a parent
I will teach him all things are possible – through hard work and good decisions
I will teach him manners, respect, humility, politeness, accountability, never to be afraid of hard work..., never to be afraid of asking questions..., how to be a man..., a father..., how to take responsibility for all his decisions and actions..., and how to be proud of his good decisions and actions....
I will teach him – no one is due anything…, except what they work and earn
Yes Sir one day I will be my Son’s friend – but not today….