I don't agree with the fact that if we have any fears or concerns, we need to put away Trading. We are all human, and we have to fight with our fears and win.
There might be a stage of development where a trader has competence (which is what you seemed to be describing) but not confidence. To deal with the issue of losses and fear, it takes both competence and confidence. For some reason, confidence doesn't automatically follow competence with trading.
%% Something that helps a LOT- wisdom; NO such thing as a business that has no expenses[losses]....................
In situations like that, we're programming our minds to attach risk to success and then we become dependent upon risk management to do most of the work ?
Too many questions. Fear of taking risks is healthy and is important for survival. Having goals that require one to do reasonable fearful things in order to achieve goals is ok. How did I overcome it? LOL, that is like "fighting cancer" in my book, I don't. I say lean into failure, go with it, grow with it. Take time off, recoup. LEARN from it, embrace failure. It feels like crap for a reason. Obstacles should be encountered with love, not repeated attempts to shatter with force.
When you know what you are doing , the risk involved is minimal . The least said about the number of times I blew my account when I started trading, the mistakes out of greed I made along the journey the better . But over the time , I learnt to seek small wins instead of bigger wins. One specific way to deal or overcome failure is to know what brought about the failure and know ways to mend it.
You cannot ignore a failure. The pain is there. So, you will feel the pain. Embrace it momentarily. The problem comes allowing that pain or disappointment to dominate your thinking until it paralizes you or causes you to commit an even worse mistake. So, how do you deal with it? First recognize you were wrong. Then accept you judged wrong. Then forget it momentarily and replace that mistake...failure...mis-step with a new focus. What is the new focus. It is the next trade! Put all your energies and mental focus on executing the next trade according to your trading strategy and tactics. Focus on execution. At the end of the day you can again visit your failure or mistake or whatever you want to call it and try to learn from it. But, in the heat of the battle that is not the time to analize. You are shaken. You may be confused. You have to momentarily forget it and put it behind you and focus on nothing but the next trade. If you think about it ...the failure ....really has absolutely nothing to do with the next trade. So..focus your mental powers on executing the next trade and nothing else. Do not analize when shaken. You will analize wrong. Just focus entirely on the next task at hand. In psychology it is called mindfulness. It is a technique that can be learned and will work for basically any endeavor in life. Especially in such endeavours as trading and high pressure sports.