Yukoner's 2015 Psychological Journal

Discussion in 'Journals' started by Yukoner, Jan 5, 2015.

  1. Yukoner

    Yukoner

    Thanks @Redneck those are good points. Since she left me last June I have pretty much had our teenage boys 85% of the time, and tried to keep as much available time as possible for her to see them. The X lives on a small island with limited ferry service, so it is tougher for them to just stop by her place. It is a fine balance, do I let her just stop by to see the kids OR insist on certain times?... well, I went with just stop by as I think that is best for our boys.
    I do feel like our history doesn't control me like it used to. I know I am way more stable and that just carries over into trading. It's a journey.

    I like that fail safe switch idea. Checkmark.

    YK
     
    #631     Apr 17, 2015
  2. Yukoner

    Yukoner

    @monoid glad to see this post! I am running out of time today to give you a fair answer, but I will get back to you. Huge help that advice you gave me about giving myself set times to think about the market, and the rest of the day try to rest my brain from trading.
     
    #632     Apr 17, 2015
  3. Handle123

    Handle123

    Fridays are always tougher in Crude Oil for some reason for my style of trading, but I know if I just keep shoveling in trades, good chances I will find that 10/50.

    Have a good weekend all. Starbuck time.
     
    #633     Apr 17, 2015
    beginner66 likes this.
  4. Yukoner

    Yukoner

    UDay #5 - Slept well, and woke up feeling great. Ready for the day. Did my regular routine and was ready to go.

    Prior to turning on the computer, I sit there and ask myself if there is anything bothering me. The thought crossed my head, "just what type of trading are you doing?" I know now, my brain was trying to tell me something. The second issue has been one of workload and time... this week has been insanely busy due to staff away...and kids. I think today, I just hit a point where I wasn't there mentally.

    Things just didn't click. I was slow reacting. I then got into a point where I could feel like I was "fighting" things...or that this was hard... and I learned a good lesson, when I feel that way, STOP, take a break and then come back.

    Then unfortunately I was into my trailing max drawdown, and I tried to trade my way out of that. Hit a tilt. Not proud of that. Taking a trading break over the weekend... Monday I will relook at what I am doing, but no trading. Lots of warning signs that I should have seen...

    -808
     
    #634     Apr 17, 2015
  5. Redneck

    Redneck

    Wheels came off today

    Every thing we been workin on - blown to hell

    Discipline wise - you're back to square 1..., we start over


    Dammit to hell YK;

    Why allow this to happen?

    Why piss everything you've (and we've) worked on the last few weeks down the drain?

    (both rhetorical)

    =========================================

    I defended not jumping your ass a couple of days ago

    Obviously I was wrong

    H123 I apologize You Sir

    YK get yer head out of your ass - or you'll never become a trader

    Having trading discipline is just like being pregnant - either you do / are..., or you don't / aren't

    There is absolutely no middle ground...., no kinda sorta

    RN
     
    #635     Apr 17, 2015
    Yukoner likes this.
  6. wrbtrader

    wrbtrader

    Thanks for answering the questions. I was given some bad information because someone told me that you're not required to trade Crude Oil CL futures in the combine. Thus, there are other trading instruments you can trade in the combine.
     
    #636     Apr 18, 2015
  7. Handle123

    Handle123

    It not like I have never been in your situation long ago, several times of reoccurring problems, our brain likes us to do what we have trained ourselves to do what it feels most comfortable and when starting out or coming back to trading, we got real good at losing, so brain feels comfortable doing exactly that. It is one thing to dig ourselves out of a hole and another doing so when violating major rules of limit.

    I even have limits of quitting for the day, three losing trades in a row-I am done trading for the day, and that is cause I have thoroughly back tested my method so I know what the "mean" of losing can be and what happens after that if I persist. So best to turn it all off and leave the house.

    I truly know your method is not geared for "normal" days and only works on higher volatility days as you have showed in past, you have not stats to prove or disapprove, until you can come up with stats and not what you "think" it is, there will be no viable changes.

    We both know till you get a better handle on trading, your mental game will be having times of "losing it" like Friday.
     
    #637     Apr 19, 2015
    beginner66, Yukoner and monoid like this.
  8. Redneck

    Redneck

    YK

    I assume we're trading tomorrow (I am)

    What are we going to do differently so as not to repeat last week?

    That question is not rhetorical

    I would like to know..., because I don't know...., which means I don't know what to expect

    That scares the hell out of me

    ===============================

    Consistency - good or bad - least it repeatable..., least I can lean on it

    Then if it bad - I can modify for the good

    When I don't have consistency - my ass is out in the wind..., I have nothing

    Nothing upon which to rely..., gauge..., measure..., even modify if necessary

    Mkt is uncertain..., I (my actions) are uncertain

    Makes for a very stressful trading session..., makes for a very empty feeling in my gut..., makes me unsure..., scared..., tense..., nauseated..., intense trepidation

    ==========================

    So I ask again;

    What are we going to do differently - so as not to repeat last week's completely inconsistent trading behavior?

    Otherwise - we got nothin - for when tomorrow arrives

    eta = How will I be able to function (trade) efficiently...., optimally..., or even effectively - I need to know!!!

    RN
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2015
    #638     Apr 19, 2015
    slugar and PABuster like this.
  9. Handle123

    Handle123

    Calling it a day, Yawn
     
    #639     Apr 20, 2015
    beginner66 likes this.
  10. Yukoner

    Yukoner

    Well, for starters I am not trading today. I am only just catching up on my journal now, as I tried hard over the weekend to not think about trading.

    Bad habits die hard. Friday, I went back to bad habits. I was weakened from an overloaded work week, and I recognized it, but because it was non-trading related issues (like being stiffed for $4500 on Monday) I wrongly assumed I would be able to stick to my rules, and especially newer rules. That finally caught up to me on Thursday and Friday.

    I need to decide what lane I am in, and stay in that lane. Either I trade for those larger moves, or I stick with the smaller moves. That is my goal to work out, and until that time I don't trade.

    YK
     
    #640     Apr 20, 2015