Yukoner's Psychological Trading Journal

Discussion in 'Journals' started by Yukoner, Nov 2, 2014.

  1. Handle123

    Handle123

    I look at this in a different way, BE +1 means the "time" amount of being in the trade has expired based on winning trades back testing, am not going to take a loss due to price drift. Small losses add up and I rather have a string of one tick profitable trades than string of losing trades. If one can't handle string of plus one tick trades, they have lack of discipline.
     
    #61     Nov 20, 2014
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  2. Yukoner

    Yukoner

    Day #14 - Woke up with a headache, and gave myself another couple hours of sleep. Seriously considered not trading at all today, because of that. Eased into the trading day, reminding myself to breathe and relax and just pay attention to what was happening in the market. Still felt a little shaky at times, but overall starting to feel more comfortable during the trading day. At least the last couple of days...

    Again, felt like I was reading the market well. Cut my losers really quickly, but just couldn't quite seem to connect and in the first stage of trading I actually ended up down almost -$350. I had told myself earlier that I would be comfortable with a small drawdown today, but didn't want it to be too much. So I was considering just calling it quits for the day at that point.

    Then after a bit of a break, I was relaxed and saw a nice trade setup. I took the trade, and stuck with it. Even though I really wanted to close it out when I was up 20 ticks. Then I actually added to the position. Took some heat there too, but kept reminding myself that nothing had changed with market structure and I needed to stay in. Tried to stay calm, and tell myself that even if I took a loss it was no big deal. Anyhow that trade worked out real well, and I closed both positions with a profit. I was working on just getting the account to breakeven, and that was my primary focus after being down.

    Later I did one really stupid trade, that totally violated my rules. It was just to try and get some profit and get up for the day. Closed that out withdrawing 1 tick, and very grateful as I it had potential to end badly. Stopped trading after that and closed the platform.

    My brain is starting to get over the fear of taking a loss. I'm becoming a bit more disciplined in sticking with my winners. I know it is only a few days, but I am starting to feel better about knowing what to do when I feel the emotional arousal hit. Nobody is going to die... it is just one trade.

    Lastly, I have started to congratulate myself when I do the correct thing. Or make the correct market call, even if I don't get filled. That is a definite help in staying positive.

    +12
     
    #62     Nov 20, 2014
  3. samuel11

    samuel11

    You seem too greedy. Are you sure you should have taken the first few trades that made you lose? Were you just too excited to trade instead of waiting for a better setup?
     
    #63     Nov 20, 2014
  4. Yukoner

    Yukoner

    Interesting you mention that... here is my daily goal I posted this morning at TopstepTrader...

    Yukoner[09:25 am] : Daily Goal - Realized early this morning that I have been operating from a principle of scarity, and so I have been greedy in my trading, and this is why I am closing out winners early. So today, I am going to focus on doing the correct trading and not being greedy.
     
    #64     Nov 20, 2014
  5. Handle123

    Handle123

    I don't believe in term greedy, we have rules that offer signals, we are just suppose to do what the signals tell us to do, this isn't like sending out a thousand troops to walk through landmines, this is hitting a button, it really don't get much plain and simple, you know what you are suppose to do.

    it has been my experience that people will never change until they feel so much pain and find another direction that offers less pain. When we train our brains to repeatively do same things that hurt ourselves, our brain will always do what hurts ourselves the least, it will do whatever is the easiest thing to do as well. So if you get out early, you trained your brain to do so and brain tells nerves to turn up voltage to make the rest of you nervous till you get out early, brain is happy to be out of the market. Little section of brain says "why did you get out early?, but brain that trades has more control on rest of you.

    One idea that can help you change, after you entry the trade, stand up on one foot, when that one gets tired, alternate to other foot. This little bit of side exercise forces the brain to take away some energy from trading. You sitting there has brain doing nothing but total concentrating, whereas standing up on one foot, brain has to now divert more time to balance, which overall, balance in life gives one control of themselves.
     
    #65     Nov 21, 2014
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  6. Yukoner

    Yukoner

    Day 15 - Interesting day. Started the day aware of a busy day ahead and Friday evening party at my house. Actually considered not to trade, but felt okay about trading today and timelines. Was looking at the market reasonably well, but then started to get a bias to be long when it was clearly showing a down day. Realized what I was doing, and waited patiently to get in a short exactly like I was taught.
    I remember that trade well, I actually felt a lot of discomfort going against my bias of being long, but once I was aware of that bias I actually put on a good trade. Typical that I closed it early, but I am noticing myself getting a bit better at holding winners for longer moves towards my targets.

    But then something happened. I took a couple of losing trades and was done a bit, and then got emotionally highjacked. I mean, I am clicking in and out like a maniac... get in, wait this is wrong.. get out... wait, that was right. Get back in. Silly trading, and I stopped and said what the heck am I doing here... I'm fighting myself, not the market. I am not trading as per plan, I am tilted.

    Dust settles and I am down over $500.... crazy.

    I slowed down, looked at what the market was telling me and told myself to take the right trade with the right stops... and only be worried about that trade and if it was right. Put it on, and left it alone. That one trade took me out of the hole.
    I tried a few more trades, but I have to say my confidence was shaken and being out of the hole and slightly positive I was determined not to give anything back. So I got very conservative, even though I was seeing the market well, I was just super risk adverse.

    Called it quits for the day, and that nagging voice popped back into my head about how I could have done so much better... I pretty much told it off, and congratulated myself for digging myself out of a hole after an emotional highjacking! Yea, I shouldn't have gone there, but I recovered from the TILT with good trading as per my methodology.

    So end of week three, and I am down $1200. Done a lot of trading over the last 15 days, and without a doubt when I learn how to hold onto winners a bit better then I will be positive. Inside my head, there has been a voice all week murmuring about how I am going to blow it, and I probably won't even make it to the end of the week. That inner critic, assuming that uncertainty will always be risky and negative, and I am learning like Howell says to reply "Sez Who?"
    (Just thought to tally up the week, and I actually am positive... a whole $133... great!)

    Finally, I owe some thanks to everyone who has replied and been so generous with contributing ideas and feedback... and especially to topsteptrader for the opportunity to move up a notch and trade OPM. I have learned a ton about myself these last three weeks!

    +21
     
    #66     Nov 21, 2014
  7. Yukoner

    Yukoner

    upload_2014-11-21_16-0-1.png
    End of week 3 - November 21st

    Interesting to look at the stats. Paid $1025 in commissions over three weeks. Avg win vs. avg loss is decent, so increasing my wins will really make a difference. Just need to get away from those melt down days where I tested my loss limit. One thought has been to focus on trading less, but I am not sure that is the correct thing to do, maybe should just take the trades and manage them better... by letting my winners work.
     
    #67     Nov 21, 2014
  8. Redneck

    Redneck

    Few random thoughts

    First

    Inside my head, there has been a voice all week murmuring about how I am going to blow it, and I probably won't even make it to the end of the week.

    This shit is strictly internal..., and all about how you view yourself

    it needs to be nuked to hell

    ==============================

    Next

    That inner critic, assuming that uncertainty will always be risky and negative,

    Mkt / Trading will always be uncertain...., and will always be risky

    That is our life... that is the environment we work / play in - period


    Neither uncertainty..., nor risky - need anything negative associated with them..., in any way

    Become friends with each..., learn to manage each

    ================================


    Last

    One thought has been to focus on trading less, but I am not sure that is the correct thing to do, maybe should just take the trades and manage them better... by letting my winners work.



    I could only see Nov 03..., thru Nov 21st of your results

    Attached is food for thought


    RN
     
    #68     Nov 21, 2014
    momoNY and Yukoner like this.
  9. Yukoner

    Yukoner

    Great stuff! Thanks for sharing your input. Going to look through it more on Sunday night.
     
    #69     Nov 22, 2014
  10. NoDoji

    NoDoji

    Also, I think if you add all the complete profit targets to the trades you cut short, your results would be very good. At least it seems that way from reading your daily recaps.

    Handle's idea about getting up and standing on one foot after the trade is on is a great one. The time you should be glued to the screen is when watching for the trade signals. The time you should be letting the trades care of you is when a position is active. There's nothing for you to do then. Watching every tick back and forth and giving your emotional risk-adverse "chimp" brain the chance to scream at you to get out now while you have a little something before it gets taken from you will result in the chimp winning every time because you are not conditioned yet to place the chimp in time out while you're working. So just get up, look away and divert your attention until the trade's over, win or lose.
     
    #70     Nov 22, 2014
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